The craziest part? These ACTUALLY work!
Breakups are the worst! And the only way to get over one is to sit on a couch, in your pajamas, eating pints of ice cream while watching Bridget Jones’s Diary, right?
Girl, please! It’s about time ‘moving on’ moved on from its own predictable, cliche habits. That’s why I started a quirky little business that helps people bounce back from a breakup in a better way. You could say I’ve become quasi-experts of the art of moving on.
And one thing I’ve learned is that SHOCKING the system is a powerful way to shift you out of your post-breakup funk. Why? Because novel or shocking experience triggers a dopamine response in your brain, opening a whole new world in your mindful of things you never knew possible. Lifehacker reports, “Each new stimuli gives you a little rush of motivation to explore, because it makes you anticipate a reward.” In other words, novel and shocking experiences inspire you lean into the world versus hide from it.
Yes, true, breakups are already a shock to the system. So, to counter that negative jolt, you need to counter it with a shock that’s positive. Here are 10 of the craziest, most unconventional ways to do just that:
1. Aqua Cycling (Shock Rating: 2/5)
Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like: a spin class in a pool. Aside from the fact that it demands your full concentration and co-ordination to stay afloat, Aqua Cycling also burns up to 800 calories a session, reduces cellulite and, for the full hour, you’re soaking up the healing powers of water.
Plus, the novelty of bike riding in a pool is so fun, you’ll pedal past your breakup blues in no time. Check out this NYC studio if you’re game!
2. Beyonci-fy Your Boyfriend (Shock Rating: 2/5)
Cassandra Blackwell kicked off this craze after a breakup left her desolate and distraught. Rather than take it lying down, she took all her old couple photos and used Photoshop to remove her ex-boyfriend and replace him with her new best bud — Beyoncé. She uploaded the new and improved shots to Tumblr and now offers this “Beyoncifying” service for anyone else looking to gloss over their past.
3. Hit the Race Track (Shock Rating: 2/5)
There’s nothing quite like the feeling of racing. Putting the pedal to the metal and holding nothing back. We’re not all Michael Schumacher’s in the making, but we can all hit the Go Kart course and race indulge our need for speed.
Race car driving requires focus. And, controlling a powerful car will make you feel better about the parts of your life that have spiraled out of control (hello, your heart!) For an extra rush, hit a Formula 1 track as a passenger while a professional driver dominates a lap!
4. Take a Beer Bath (Shock Rating: 3/5)
OK, this one might now sound so crazy, but, trust me, when you bathe in beer, it changes everything. This Eastern European tradition has been going strong since the Middle Ages.
It’s simple really, you take a long dip in barley, hops and yeast — all kept bubbling at a delicious 98 degrees, making sure to evenly disperse all the vitamins, carbohydrates and proteins. The best part? You can drink a cold beer while soaking in the warm stuff.
There are a lot of wacky beauty treatments out there (I’m looking at you non-venomous snake massage!), but a beer bath is definitely one worth a try.
5. Be a Muse (Shock rating: 3/5)
Yep, I’m suggesting you sit as a nude model for a life drawing class. You could start off smaller by simply posing (clothed is fine) for an art class or photographer, but posing nude raises the dare to a whole new level. This act is the ultimate in soul stripping; and by all accounts, makes you feel connected to your painters, as well as completely unable to think of any moments that exist outside that room.
Forget paying to escape. Get paid to escape instead … in the nude!
6. Naked Yoga (Shock Rating: 4/5)
Sticking with the nude theme, how about a Warrior pose in your birthday suit? On top of the usual strengthening, flexibility and mental calm benefits of normal yoga, the naked version brings you really (really) close to your classmates and helps you drop the mask you wear in everyday life.
Most importantly, it teaches radical self-love and self-acceptance. Which, lets face it, we could all use a little more of — especially post-breakup. For those curious, the lighting is dim and you can’t make out that much. You can also try it online if you’d prefer to warm up to it privately first.
7. Cryotherapy (Shock Rating: 4/5)
After the heat of hot naked yoga, cool off with some Cryotherapy. This new healing miracle involves stepping inside a cryo-chamber. (Yes, it looks like something from the future that might beam you up into space). For 2-3 minutes, you withstand arctic temperatures of -120F.
For many, this sounds like torture, but the adrenaline surging through your veins somehow overrides the pain. And the benefits are immense. Cryotherapy reduces inflammation, improves metabolism, reduces signs of aging, and, most importantly, boosts mood.
For the rest of the day, you’ll feel high, like you’ve just downed 10 Red Bulls. And if you’re not into it, head to LA-based Cold & Thirsty (a juice bar and Cryotherapy haunt) and just grab a cold juice instead.
8. Outdoor Survival School (Shock Rating: 5/5)
Camps, like BOSS-inc, will shut your broken-hearted whining down fast and teach you how to survive in the wild (A rather great metaphor for love and life, no?).
These courses are as ruthless as you imagine — you make fires, build shelters, identify edible plants, forge stone tools, and learn to act like James Franco in the movie where he hacked his own arm off. Start with a three-day course or jump straight into the 28-day version. Either way, you’ll have no time to think about your ex and, instead, you come out a total badass.
9. Scare Yourself (Shock Rating: 5/5)
When you’re scared, you can’t think of anything else but how much you love life and don’t want it to end! There are a lot of different ways to feel fear; on the small end of the spectrum you can watch some horror movies in a country house, alone. Or you can face up to a phobia of yours, no matter how weird. Or, you can do the really strange thing of organizing your own kidnapping (Yep, I’m serious).
A company in Detroit — Extreme Kidnapping — will happily do this for you. You pay them between $500-$1500, then one day they turn up, abduct you, rough you up, and keep you overnight.
10. Extreme Ironing (Shock Rating: 5/5)
This weirdly awesome hobby, Extreme Ironing, started in England thanks to a guy named Phil Shaw. He wanted to go rock climbing, but had a bunch of ironing to do — so the practical genius took his ironing with him up the mountain and recorded his escapade. And, it took off!
Now people all over the world take their ironing rock climbing, paragliding, sky diving, skiing and bungee jumping. The interesting part is turning something so mundane into something completely exhilarating. Give it a go, and then work on transforming the other boring bits of your life (especially your broken heart).
So there you have it, 10 crazy ways to move on from a breakup.
Remember, yes a breakup is the end of something, but it’s also, just as much, the start of something new.
I used my bad breakup as inspiration to start my business Never Liked It Anyway. I simply decided to take an awful thing and turn it into the best thing that ever happened to me. You can do exactly the same thing. I promise, you’ll feel alright in the end, but anything you can do now to accelerate the healing process is worth a shot.
So, have fun shocking yourself into moving on!