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10 people tell us what they would do if their parents said no to the partner they choose to marry

Judging by how much emphasis is placed on the blessings and sometimes, permission of parents on whom their kids would spend the rest of their lives with, the question above is a valid, important one with serious ramifications for people who ever find themselves caught between love and a parent’s blessing.

We asked a couple of people to tell us what they’d do if they ever find themselves in this situation and here’s what they have to say?

Dayo

“You’ll sit with your parents and understand the reason behind that. If it’s lame or some personal, religious or cultural bias, then you can ignore them and try to convince them to accept her because you aren’t leaving her.”

If care is not taken, your folks may project so much of their wishes on your wedding that it may as well be assumed that the ceremony is theirs and not yours [Credit: Money Matters With Nimi]


If care is not taken, your folks may project so much of their wishes on your wedding that it may as well be assumed that the ceremony is theirs and not yours [Credit: Money Matters With Nimi]

Ayomide

“Really that would leave me in a tight spot. The job is to find out why they don’t like her and convince them.”

Femi

“Of course we want our family to appreciate and like our other halves as much as we do, but if that is not possible as at that time, I will go all out with my partner and with time they (parents) will come around some day. As long as I like my other half.”

Frank

“Try to convince my folks. And then if they don’t, realize that I’m really after who makes my body tingle.”

Halima

“Sincerely, probably because I’m the rebel in my family, I don’t care. I have come to realize that my choice of a life partner isn’t based on whether or not my parents would like you. Because I have dated picture-perfect guys that are my parents’ perfect idea of what my partner should be and they turned out to be TRASH!

“So my thing is, if I KNOW that this person loves and respects me and would make ME happy and make MY life a wonderful one, I really don’t care if my parents like him or not. Laslas, na me go marry am. So please dears.”

When should your partner should meet your folks? [Credit - Ebony Life/Wedding Party Movie]


Ebony Life/Wedding Party Movie


When should your partner should meet your folks? [Credit – Ebony Life/Wedding Party Movie]

Tolani

“Complicated. It depends on the reason they give for not liking her. I’m not dating her for them, but I also don’t want a divided home where I’ll have to choose a side. If their reasons are plausible, I might accept it.

However, those reasons are usually born of conservative standards. Before I take any girl to my folks, I must really love her. If I love her, then it means she ticks my boxes. So, whatever they say will probably be what I can work around. No amount of dislike will probably make me drop my partner.”

ALSO READ: 7 ways to leave a fantastic first impression on your partner’s parents

Ntianu

“Depends how much I loved him. I would try and act like a peacemaker.”

Odion

“It’s going to be me against them because i won’t be influenced by their decision. Why would my parents not approve of my partner when they don’t really know the person? All I need from them is their support and love… if the marriage doesn’t work out later, I’ll face the consequences.”

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Steve

“I would have still married her.”

Chidinma

“Marry him anyway, I didn’t take him there for consent, I took him there for an Introduction not permission.”

Tope

“The very first thing I will do is to ask why? I would have to listen to their argument on why they don’t like her. That is the logical thing to do in my opinion before taking any other step, maybe if it’s something she can change she change about herself.”

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Relationship Tips

Here is an explanation for why communication dies slowly between a couple

Stonewalling in a relationship is what happens when one [or both] partners consciously and intentionally refuse to allow communication flow especially when there is something that really needs to be talked about.

Obviously, even when there aren’t issue or problems to deal with, the communication line between partners is meant to stay on at all times. Being able to talk to a partner; being able to express one’s deepest fears and even dumbest thoughts is one great thing about having a partner.


This is what stonewalling looks like – a partner trying to make things good, another refusing to listen.

But all that is put on hold with stonewalling.

Stonewalling is actually a form of communication deficiency, and differs greatly from the occasional timeout to calm down or collect your thoughts, which partners normally have every now and then.

It is an absolute refusal to consider your partner’s perspective. If you listen at all, you do it dismissively or contemptuously. It is a failure to practice the kind of communication skill required to keep your relationship going; and men have been accused of being main culprits of this.

According the result of a research carried out by Prof. John M. Gottman, a world-renowned psychologist, stonewalling “ is far more likely to be a male thing.”

“When women stonewall, it’s typically a function of temperament – they’re , inhibited, or . More commonly, it’s a learned behavior – engaging in conflict or emotion-laden conversation has exposed them to put-downs or abuse in the past.”

ALSO READ: 5 reassurances your girlfriend needs to hear regularly

And more interestingly, men do not even know when they do this. When their partners try to initiate conversations about certain important issues that affect them, they run or continuously push such discussions of dismiss them altogether.


Men are more guilty of stonewalling than women could ever be [Credit – LifeStyle.ng]

One of the signs that a man could be stonewalling is if he believes his partner nags him.

Women don’t necessarily nag all the time. When a partner keeps repeating something, it’s because she’s not being heard. A nagging partner is usually an unheard partner.

Whether it is practiced by a man or woman, stonewalling hurts your partner, and causes feelings of isolation, frustration, anger and could make them think that you don’t care about them or their opinions.’

There is only one solution to this malaise; intentional, effective communication.

Whether you have a spouse, bae, boo or you’re about to get one of these, stonewalling has no place in your relationship because great relationships thrive on communication not on negative actions as this.

Continue Reading

Relationship Tips

Here is an explanation for why communication dies slowly between a couple

Stonewalling in a relationship is what happens when one [or both] partners consciously and intentionally refuse to allow communication flow especially when there is something that really needs to be talked about.

Obviously, even when there aren’t issue or problems to deal with, the communication line between partners is meant to stay on at all times. Being able to talk to a partner; being able to express one’s deepest fears and even dumbest thoughts is one great thing about having a partner.


This is what stonewalling looks like – a partner trying to make things good, another refusing to listen.

But all that is put on hold with stonewalling.

Stonewalling is actually a form of communication deficiency, and differs greatly from the occasional timeout to calm down or collect your thoughts, which partners normally have every now and then.

It is an absolute refusal to consider your partner’s perspective. If you listen at all, you do it dismissively or contemptuously. It is a failure to practice the kind of communication skill required to keep your relationship going; and men have been accused of being main culprits of this.

According the result of a research carried out by Prof. John M. Gottman, a world-renowned psychologist, stonewalling “ is far more likely to be a male thing.”

“When women stonewall, it’s typically a function of temperament – they’re , inhibited, or . More commonly, it’s a learned behavior – engaging in conflict or emotion-laden conversation has exposed them to put-downs or abuse in the past.”

ALSO READ: 5 reassurances your girlfriend needs to hear regularly

And more interestingly, men do not even know when they do this. When their partners try to initiate conversations about certain important issues that affect them, they run or continuously push such discussions of dismiss them altogether.


Men are more guilty of stonewalling than women could ever be [Credit – LifeStyle.ng]

One of the signs that a man could be stonewalling is if he believes his partner nags him.

Women don’t necessarily nag all the time. When a partner keeps repeating something, it’s because she’s not being heard. A nagging partner is usually an unheard partner.

Whether it is practiced by a man or woman, stonewalling hurts your partner, and causes feelings of isolation, frustration, anger and could make them think that you don’t care about them or their opinions.’

There is only one solution to this malaise; intentional, effective communication.

Whether you have a spouse, bae, boo or you’re about to get one of these, stonewalling has no place in your relationship because great relationships thrive on communication not on negative actions as this.

Continue Reading

Relationship Tips

Here is an explanation for why communication dies slowly between a couple

Stonewalling in a relationship is what happens when one [or both] partners consciously and intentionally refuse to allow communication flow especially when there is something that really needs to be talked about.

Obviously, even when there aren’t issue or problems to deal with, the communication line between partners is meant to stay on at all times. Being able to talk to a partner; being able to express one’s deepest fears and even dumbest thoughts is one great thing about having a partner.


This is what stonewalling looks like – a partner trying to make things good, another refusing to listen.

But all that is put on hold with stonewalling.

Stonewalling is actually a form of communication deficiency, and differs greatly from the occasional timeout to calm down or collect your thoughts, which partners normally have every now and then.

It is an absolute refusal to consider your partner’s perspective. If you listen at all, you do it dismissively or contemptuously. It is a failure to practice the kind of communication skill required to keep your relationship going; and men have been accused of being main culprits of this.

According the result of a research carried out by Prof. John M. Gottman, a world-renowned psychologist, stonewalling “ is far more likely to be a male thing.”

“When women stonewall, it’s typically a function of temperament – they’re , inhibited, or . More commonly, it’s a learned behavior – engaging in conflict or emotion-laden conversation has exposed them to put-downs or abuse in the past.”

ALSO READ: 5 reassurances your girlfriend needs to hear regularly

And more interestingly, men do not even know when they do this. When their partners try to initiate conversations about certain important issues that affect them, they run or continuously push such discussions of dismiss them altogether.


Men are more guilty of stonewalling than women could ever be [Credit – LifeStyle.ng]

One of the signs that a man could be stonewalling is if he believes his partner nags him.

Women don’t necessarily nag all the time. When a partner keeps repeating something, it’s because she’s not being heard. A nagging partner is usually an unheard partner.

Whether it is practiced by a man or woman, stonewalling hurts your partner, and causes feelings of isolation, frustration, anger and could make them think that you don’t care about them or their opinions.’

There is only one solution to this malaise; intentional, effective communication.

Whether you have a spouse, bae, boo or you’re about to get one of these, stonewalling has no place in your relationship because great relationships thrive on communication not on negative actions as this.

Continue Reading
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