Barack Obama, the first black president of the United States, is truly an awe-inspiring figure along with his beautiful and brilliant wife Michelle Obama. He is, after all, the President of the most powerful nation on Earth, which would make the POTUS the most powerful man on Earth as well.
But, he is not just our POTUS; he is also a married man who has an exceptional marriage, which is a huge inspiration to many of us. The way in which the First Couple handles their marriage—despite the attention it gets—is remarkable. I invite you and yours to take a page from their book to grow your marriage as it becomes just as strong as the Obamas.
Here are 10 secrets that will give you insights into how the Obamas have such a successful marriage that you can have too!
SECRET #2 – DON’T MAKE A BIG ISSUE ABOUT LITTLE ISSUES
The biggest arguments generally erupt over small issues. Look beyond the trivial irritants that put so much pressure on a marriage. Focus instead on the positives such as the fun you have, the life you build up together and the value each of you brings to the marriage.
Talking on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, Michelle Obama said:
I kind of give him a pass now when he leaves his socks on the floor or tells that story for the one hundredth time and wants us to laugh at it as if we first heard it.
SECRET #3 – LOOK AT THE PERSON AND NOT THE PERSONA
If you wish to have a happy life and stable marriage, do not focus on money, looks or any other similar things. Focus on the person.
Michelle Obama’s advice to all women as expressed in an article in Glamour Magazine is:
Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. … You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.
SECRET #4 – EXPRESS YOUR LOVE
As we have clearly seen time and time again, the First Couple is not ashamed of a little or a nice respectful size of PDA (Public Displays of Affection) to demonstrate their love for each other. They are often seen holding hands, touching and kissing even in the most unanticipated public places. The comfort level they share is evident in their interaction.
SECRET #5 – BE PLAYFUL AND FLIRTATIOUS
Having an element of fun in a marriage provides much-needed bonding in a marriage. The Obamas are informal, open and flirtatious even in front of the media and their children as they set an exemplary precedent for their children.
President Obama joked after someone in the crowd blurted out a compliment to his wife Michelle Obama:
We know it is Black History Month when you hear somebody say, ‘Heeey, Michelle! Girl, you look so good!’
The First Lady didn’t miss a beat and returned with:
He’s all right. You look good too, baby!
SECRET #6 – RESPECT EACH OTHER
Clearly, the Obamas have immense love and most of all respect for one another. They consider marriage as a partnership, where each has to invest something to make it work.
Michelle spoke about it with Oprah Winfrey:
It has to be a true partnership, and you have to really, really like and respect the person you’re married to, because it is a hard road.
SECRET #7 – HAVE TRUST AND LOYALTY
Trusting and being loyal to each other is the foundation to a happy and successful marriage.
Michelle Obama said in an interview with Gayle King at CBS News:
I do care deeply about my husband. I am one of his biggest allies. I am one of his biggest confidants.
SECRET #8 – MAINTAIN AN ELEMENT OF SURPRISE
No matter how “seasoned” your marriage may be, always maintain an element of surprise. Astound yourself by discovering a new facet of your spouse and similarly surprise them occasionally with something they did not know about you.
Barak Obama said in a 1996 interview:
Even if one builds a life together based on trust, attentiveness and mutual support, I think that it’s important that a partner continues to surprise.
SECRET #9 – BE FRIENDS FIRST AND ALWAYS
Once you get married, the routine of life makes you forget how you were before you married. Do not let marriage take over your friendship. Be friends, share, confide, trust and depend upon each other.
Michelle Obama is attributed to saying:
Our marriage was first a friendship. It took off from there.
While the President said of his wife in his 2008 election victory speech:
And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years …
SECRET #10 – HAVE PERSEVERANCE
One of the biggest secrets of a successful marriage is perseverance. Here is what President Obama had to say about perseverance to Barbara Walter:
We’ve been married now 20 years, and like every marriage you have your ups and you have your downs, but if you work through the tough times, the respect and love that you feel deepens.