It’s important to keep in mind that as appealing as amazing s*xual chemistry is, it isn’t going to make or break your relationship. Don’t sweat it if your s*x life doesn’t feel effortless; that’s completely normal. But if you’ve got matching libidos, that’s just icing on a cake. There’s probably a better, less s*xual metaphor to use there, though.

You can communicate verbally and wordlessly. Two souls sharing one body is magical, or whatever. Whether you can somehow spit out the perfect dirty talk that nails down exactly what you want, or you can just look your partner in the eye and swear you have telekinetic powers, you’ve got communication locked down.

There’s deep trust. Good s*x and trust go hand in hand. There’s the obvious: knowing your partner is using protection, that they’ve been up front about STD testing, and that they’re not going to suddenly spring anything on you. But it’s also about trusting that they know your body, that they respect you, and that there’s no judgment.

You don’t mind experimenting. That trust gives way to an environment where you can mess around, dip your toes into the water of a few unexpected new s*x things you saw in Fifty Shades, and try out a toy or two without screwing things up. You trust the other person to put a stop to anything they don’t like. You might surprise each other with what winds up turning you on. And all this means the s*x can never really get boring.

You’re both ready to go at a moment’s notice. It’s insane how quickly you turn each other on. If you’re ever hard-pressed for a quickie, it’s like you’re a s*x pit crew. You work so well together.

s*x never feels like a chore. You never feel like you’re in a rut, or like you’re having s*x just to have s*x, or because one of you is horny and the other one figures they might as well. Your s*x is frequent and it usually feels natural.

You never take it too seriously. You can laugh at dumb accidents like falling off the bed. No one is mortified when you start your period mid-coitus or he lets a fart slip out. It’s s*x. It’s weird, it’s fun, it’s amazing and sometimes awkward.

The s*x never feels selfish. It never feels like one of you is just a means to an end while the other pumps away. The s*x is always about making sure you both get off . the time it’s all wrapped up.

You can talk it out. You can talk it out before, during, and after. Talking about s*x never feels cringey or awkward.

You make each other feel wanted. You feel sexy during s*x. That might sound pretty obvious but it’s not always the case. The way your partner looks at you, touches you, and makes you feel turns you on because you know they’re turned on, and that turns them on, and the cycle continues until climax.

You know that none of this is really that important. You don’t overthink anything. If all the elements fit together, great. If they don’t, you’re still going to have fun having s*x. And that’s what’s most important.

.: Cosmo SA

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