The sad truth about obsession is it prevents you from doing something new while you just chew and gnaw on the old. (And, yes, the maybe-not-real-at-all.) This was going to be an article about how to know if you’re obsessing over someone, but the truth is, you know if you are. (And you probably are, if you clicked.)

1. You check his social media accounts more than your own.

Twitter, Instagram, ., repeat.

2. You not only check social media, but you’re reading into everything.

You once had a romantic brunch together and he posts of the food on Instagram. You think it’s a clue meant for your eyes only.

3. You imagine him brooding.

You think not hearing from him means he’s sad and hoping for you to return to him. In your mind, he’s elbow-deep in ice cream and tears and only you reaching out can help him.

4. You check the social media accounts of the people he’s dating, or think he might be dating.

This is worse than checking your ex’s accounts. Not much more to say on that.

5. You imagine all the ways their new relationship will or won’t work.

6. You write him one last letter or email. One with all the feelings.

7.  You make all the friendly, just-friends gestures.

You send him a peppy birthday card that falsely provides the illusion “I’m okay and here’s a card to prove it!! Look, GLITTER!”

8. You wonder, on occasion, if you might be stalking him.

9. You look for signs in everything.

10. You sleep with him, because he called. (Or because you called because you think one last hurrah will remind him how good it was.)

These are just some of the signs; I’m sure there are ever-more-elaborate ways to trace and track your ex now. let it go, obsession would not do you any good.

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