You’re his girlfriend, not his secretary for God’s sake.
We’ve all been in relationships where, at times, we’ve felt more like a mom or a secretary than a significant other. While we understand that healthy relationships require compromises, we’ve compiled a list of favors that good boyfriends know better than to consistently request. If you’re constantly taking on any of the items on this list (especially with any hint of resentment), it’s time to get your guy to lend a hand.
1. His laundry. Pairing your socks isn’t exactly our idea of a stay-at-home date, nor does living with you make us a 1950s housewife. A good compromise is for one partner to sort and start the laundry and the other to fold and put it away. Plus, studies show that helping around the house increases a man’s chances of getting laid. So, how ’bout that pile of dishes? If you clean up the sink while we tackle the living room, we’ll get to the bedroom twice as fast.
2. Buy gifts and cards for other people on his behalf. We’ll help when we’re out with you, but no, we won’t make a pit stop at Hallmark and Laura Ashley while we’re shopping with the girls. Just because we’re women doesn’t mean we’re automatically adept at figuring out your Aunt Martha’s dress size.
3. Plan an entire vacation without his help. When we ask you whether you’d rather spend our anniversary in Cabo or Vermont, we want you to express an actual preference, not to say, “Whatever, I’m happy with what makes you happy.” The same goes for the hotel, the airline, and the restaurant reservations. Letting us take the reins isn’t considerate, it’s just lazy and boring. Instead, make sure to divvy up the planning. We pick the location and hotel; you plan the activities.
4. Make him a sandwich. The refrigerator is 10 feet away and your game control has a pause b*tton, so get up, stretch, and slap that ham and lettuce together by yourself. We don’t care if you’re “in the zone,” because apparently, you were out of it long enough to articulate your immediate need for a nibble. Maybe we’ll consider it if you agree to break from the game for 20 minutes, put on some coffee, and enjoy your afternoon snack with us.
5. Change your relationship status on .. We believe our life outside of the Internet should speak for itself. On the off-chance that we break up, wouldn’t you rather tell your close friends in person, rather than have that ever-present broken heart appear on 500 people’s newsfeeds? Well, we would, so don’t even ask us to include our relationship status on . in the first place.
6. Be his wake-up call. If we wanted a newborn, we’d just pierce the condom. Kidding! But really, buy an alarm clock. Remembering a man’s nap and wakeup schedule should be an occasional favor, not an everyday obligation.
7. Take care of his drunk friends. We’ll help them hail cabs or drive them home, but our couch really shouldn’t be a post-happy-hour crash pad.
8. Hang out with his ex. Some women like befriending the ex, and others just want to satisfy their curiosity about her, but don’t pressure the ones who would rather keep a distance.
9. Keep up with his favorite shows. How would you like it if we made you religiously watch The Bachelor? Instead, let’s pick a show we both like and make sure we follow it together.
10. Lose weight. We’ll tone up for health purposes and for ourselves, but if you’re really concerned about the 5 lbs we gained over the holidays, don’t flat-out complain that we’re getting flabby. Instead, invite us to go biking with you or to take a yoga class together. Treat exercise as a fun activity we can do together instead of something we should do just for you.
11. Keep our hair long. Trust us, short hair is cute, fun, and just as feminine as back-length hair. Just look at Halle Berry, Audrey Tautou and Keira Knightley, circa 2005. It’s not as if we’re going to shave it off or sport one of Rihanna’s hairstyles, but even if we did, we hope you’d find us just as attractive.