It’s MAKE it or BREAK it time.
You know that sagging, awful feeling in the pit of your gut that things “aren’t quite right” with your relationship? Well it’s time to get cracking at that right now. Here are 13 signs that your relationship is in desperate need of repair (or a breakup):
1. You can’t communicate anymore.
Or your conversations have been limited to boring exchanges about mundane topics. Even spirited arguments have given way too.
2. Spending time together is no longer a TOP priority.
Time for each other feels like it’s become an afterthought.
3. One (or both) of you have gotten a “work friend” who knows more about your relationship than they should.
This doesn’t automatically mean that you or they are cheating, but the transfer ofintimacy from your partner to someone outside the relationship can be really bad for your bond.
4. You argue about the same crap OVER and OVER.
Ever had those conversations where you go around and around with your partner but things only get better for a little while or nothing ever changes? Me too.
5. You’ve discussed and analyzed your relationship with close friends/family — and they don’t like where things are headed.
Usually our people have a pretty good idea of how things are going — even if we don’t share the nitty gritty details.
6. You become suspicious of your partner.
Whether they are cheating or not, the fear that they’re having an affair has started to plague your thoughts. Petty jealousy seems to crop up even though you’ve never feltjealous in the past.
7. “It’s not the same anymore” pretty much sums up how you both feel.
8. You don’t think you (or they) care anymore.
Now, whether or not this is true is not the real barometer. It’s the sense of not feeling cared for that is most telling.
9. You dream about what things USED to be like.
You know that feeling where you wish you could rewind things back to the way it used to be before you had the sinking pain deep in your gut?
10. You feel like you’ve done all you CAN do to save the relationship.
Sometimes you’re trying too hard — other times it’s just that you’re the only one actually trying.
11. You’ve started thinking about what it’s like without them.
The internal “I know I can end this,” pep talk starts. You start considering whether you should “put up with this” any longer.
12. You’ve stopped (or avoided) talking about the future
“Concert next month? I don’t know … that’s a long way out”
It’s still possible to repair things at this point, but it takes focus, strategy and effort. Relationship insecurity panic (even when your relationship is really at risk) feels low value and desperate. It’ll just push them away even further.