We all desire a romantic relationship filled with happiness, understanding and most importantly – love – but probably forget that there are many other factors that make relationships flourish.
Connecting with someone romantically, emotionally and physically can be really amazing. But there is a lot of work that goes into building a good and healthy relationship.
Unfortunately, for many of us, we have been exposed to so many unhealthy relationships in our lives that we don’t know what a healthy relationship even looks or feels like.
Healthy relationships allow both partners to feel supported and connected and at the same time still feel independent.
Ultimately, the two people in the relationship decide what is healthy for them and what is not.
Remember, relationship is complex, however, it doesn’t mean partners cannot enjoy their companionship or togetherness. But what works for Mr A most times might not work for Mr B.
Every relationship struggles, but only strong relationships get through it. Take the time to focus on these 20 amazing tips that are important in keeping the love alive and feelings between you and your partner.
And most, essentially, remember that no one falls in love by choice; it is by chance, and no one falls out of love by chance; it is by choice.
Amazing Tips Of a Healthy Relationship
In order to have a healthy and loving relationship, you must first learn to love yourself. Self-love creates a stronger capacity to love others. It opens you up to experiencing love without fear.
Self-love makes you stronger, and when two self-loving individuals get together, they have the ability to experience the full potential of love. Being comfortable with who you are means you will be a happier partner.
The primary and most important thing to start a serious and healthy relationship is love. You both must love each other with the same intensity. Love has to be both sided. When you are in your initial phase or stage of the relationship, this is the one thing that is going to cover the flaws and incompleteness of your partner.
When you love someone, you will easily avoid their irritating habits or will try to adjust to them without complaining.
Communicating with your partner is essential. A healthy conversation between two people does not result in raised voices or vicious attacks. Communicate to each other with love and compassion and check your ego’s at the door. Speak, listen, and really hear what each other is saying. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak… hear your partner out.
Whereas not speaking up and communicating your ideas, feelings, desires, and wants is unhealthy because one day you might blow up and say some things you will either regret or feel sorry for saying. Communicate to find a middle ground in your relationship because it is unfair for one person to constantly accommodate the other. Relationships cannot grow without communication, so don’t be afraid to speak your mind and embrace your thoughts.
Not many people have the patience to listen and try to understand their partner’s point-of-view without interrupting. Misunderstanding is one of the major issues that lead to relationship breakup or divorce.
In life, people want others to understand what they are saying without taking time to understand others. As an individual or partner in a relationship, you cannot offer a reasonable opinion or counterargument if you don’t take time to listen and to focus on your partner’s opinion or concern.
Forgiveness is monumentally important in a relationship. There should not be any lingering issues between you and your partner, or else trust deteriorates. Everybody makes mistakes. Be willing to apologize for yours and accept your partner’s apologies. Of course, there are some things that are unforgivable, such as cheating on your partner (at least in my eyes), because it means that your relationship didn’t mean much to you anyway.
But, most things can be forgiven. Forgiveness is extremely important and necessary in a relationship because we have to accept and be reminded that we aren’t perfect. So if I bailed on you because something important came up or you had a bad day at work and said some things to me that should have been directed at someone else out of anger, it is okay. Sometimes all it takes is a simple I’m sorry and that will be it
6. Respect and Appreciation
Without respect and appreciation, there is no love. Respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Respect your partner by choosing your words carefully, honoring boundaries, being willing to compromise, showing consideration, and protecting your partner. Let your partner know on a regular basis what it is that you like most about them – what you admire, what makes you proud, what their strengths are in your eyes.
Building an healthy relationship isn’t just about the initial bonding, it is about encouraging and supporting each other’s growth over the course of your lives. Help your partner achieve his or her potential by constantly building them up. Above all, appreciate your partner for who they are, the things they do, the support they give, and the growth that they contribute in building your own identity.
7. Show Some Affection
Small acts of physical intimacy goes a long way in a romantic and healthy relationship. It send the right signal that everything is cool like a pats on the back, your arm around their shoulder on the sofa, your hand on their thigh when seated side-by-side, holding hands while walking down the street give your partner a warm feeling and convey the love and affection you feel for them.
The littlest touch can be as important, or even more important, than the longest night of sexual intimacy.
Sharing laughs and smiles with the one you love is extremely important. After all, being in a relationship is sharing your life with someone you care for, cherish, and want to spend the rest of your life with. Being able to joke around and laugh with one another is extremely healthy for your well-being and the relationship.
It is not just about fun and games, but it is also no fun to be so serious and stern about everything. Keep your relationship alive with some humor, adventure, and daily laughs to see the smile of your loved one.
9. Sharing Interest
Having things in common with the one you love and sharing interests with your partner is perfect because neither one of you need to accommodate the other. There will be days where both you and your partner will not want to do the same things, at this point a middle ground will have to be met, but sharing interests makes it easier when looking for fun things to do and finding things to talk about.
Having a few similar interests like bike riding or playing football allows you and your partner to have something that brings you two together. Liking similar things is also a perfect conversation starter, but also talking about your dislikes and things that you don’t agree on can spark an intense and even more enticing conversation.
10. Trust and Honesty
A relationship cannot stand the test of time without trust and honesty. Honesty in a relationship is extremely important because it is the fundamental thing that makes a person feel safe. Even if you think the truth will be hard for your partner to hear, they will appreciate it in the long run. By being honest with your partner, they have no reason to doubt you or not trust you.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that everything else in your life has to change. You can still see your friends, go out, and be your own person, but be honest with your partner with whatever you do because by hiding something from them, you might be giving them the perfect reason not to trust you. Trust is vital in a strong and successful relationship because you don’t want to think twice about what your partner says or does.
11. Shared Responsibility
There is nothing better than being with someone who is a true partner in progress. After all you are meant to be partners and not one sided slave in the relationship. To achieve a successful and healthy relationship both partner need to come together as a team. If you are not a team and you don’t have equality, it can make you unhappy enough to spoil the relationship, whether there is great love or not.
In all things you do, make sure you follow the Golden Rule in your relationship that stated “do unto your partner as they would have done unto you.” Strive for a fair division of household duties and other tasks, and don’t expect or demand special considerations you will be unwilling to offer in return.
12. Giving Gift
The small things in life are actually not that small. There are times where the smallest deed can make someone the happiest being on earth and that is usually because the small things are the most thoughtful ones. Preparing breakfast when your partner is too tired or surprising them with an iced caramel latte on their way home from work, a piece of jewelry or clothing you noticed at the store can be enough to make their day.
The small things really do count and they are remembered more than you might think. There is something magical in knowing that your partner feels appreciated and happy that they have the privilege of calling you mine. And the small things can do just that.
13. Be Open Minded
Don’t keep your likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, achievements and mistakes, or anything else to yourself. If it is important to you, it is definitely important to your partner too, share it with them. More than that, be sure to share more with your partner than you do with anyone else.
While there is certainly a need for some personal space in even the closest relationship, give as much of yourself and your time as you can bear to your partner. Express your feelings in the moment. Do not allow anger and disappointment to build up inside you. Say what you feel clearly and respectfully.
14. Be Supportive
Build self-esteem by using words that support and motivate with empathetic attunement when your partner is facing some life challenge like loss of job, death of a loved one, misplaced cheque, issues at work, rough day and lot of commitment lied on their shoulder.
In this situation it will be nice for you to be a voice of calm, be a great encourager and listen to what is bothering them and offer whatever help even if it is just sympathy, you can. And if you have a complaint or criticism, present it like an Oreo cookie, couched between two positive statements. You don’t always have to agree with your partner, but everyone wants to be heard.
15. Talk About Sex Openly And Honestly
This topic is so commonly not addressed in relationships because people are embarrassed and/or ashamed to bring it up, But telling your partner what feels good and what you like and don’t like helps you have better sex life.
Never pressure your partner into doing something they don’t want to do, or let your partner pressure you, consent is a must. Also, talk to your partner about how you are going to protect each other against STDs and unintended pregnancy. Practice safer sex and get tested for STDs.
16. Work On Your Differences
To be in an healthy relationship means working on your differences, Although, there is no two people in the world that are just alike most especially when it comes to relationship. Different people from different background, different orientation, different mindset and different way of life come together to be in a romantic relationship, definitely there will surely be differences.
However, after working with hundreds of couples, I’m convinced that opposites often do attract. But great partners learn to build upon those differences. They use each other’s strengths and let each other minimize their weaknesses.
17. Tackle Conflict
In an healthy relationship, conflicts aren’t a deal breaker. Just because a conflict happens doesn’t signal that it is time to just check out and move on to something else. Rather, the conflict is seen as an opportunity to learn and grow. Both sides openly share their feelings and views honestly and with respect.
Conflict is accepted as a natural part of life and any frustrations are dealt with early rather than repressed and brought back over and over again. Both partners need to be loyal to one another and willing work through conflicts together. They both truly believe in the relationship and are committing to the lessons and growth that come while being together despite the challenges that come up.
18. Let Go Of The Past
As a culprit for many potential arguments and the underlying issue for future ones, what happens in the past doesn’t always stay there and it is difficult to move forward in a relationship when you are still thinking about what happened in it from another time.
If you find yourself dwelling on the past continuously, it might be a sign to take a step back and consider why you are naturally less forgiving or probably what happened is something you can’t seem to forgive? By focusing on the reason for this reccuring feeling, you will find more clarity within yourself and what you want from the relationship with your partner.
19. Love Languages
One of the key to a successful healthy relationship is learning your partner love language. It is seriously important and crucial for an individual to know this key in other to unlock every doors of impossibilities in relationship and marriage. Love languages according to Gary Chapman include:
- word of affirmation: Praise, appreciation or words of affection are used to express love, for instance i love you, you love sweet, you look so stunning in that beautiful red gown, you are my world etc.
- Quality time:Love is conveyed by spending quality time together and undivided attention with your love ones.
- Receiving gifts: some partners love language is receiving gifts irrespective of how small the gift is to them it symbolises love and affection from their partner to them.
- Acts of Service: Love and affection are expressed through actions rather than words
- Physical touch: Physical touch and intimacy as a way of expressing love
Many people unfortunately fall into the bad habit of believing and expecting that their partner is meant to be their source of happiness at all time. However, in a truly vibrant and healthy relationship, neither of the partner expects the other to be the source of all their happiness in life. Both people know and understand that they themselves are responsible for their own happiness and well-being.
They each know that they are there to support and help one another, but they both know that they are ultimately responsible for themselves. Healthy relationships need compromise in order to work and to establish happiness between both partners. If one partner only takes and never gives, something is bound to break.
A relationship is unhealthy when it involves mean, disrespectful, controlling, or abusive behavior. Ultimately, an unhealthy relationship is based on power and control, not love and respect. If you feel like your partner is using tactics to control you, then that is a big red flag and you shouldn’t take it slightly.
Talk to someone that can help. Your partner doesn’t have to physically harm you for your relationship to be abusive (domestic Violence). If your relationship is great most of the time, but unhealthy sometimes, that is not good enough. Everyone deserves to be in a healthy relationship and there is never an excuse for abuse (Domestic Abuse).
Even if there is a history of mental illness, cheating or other hardships either in or outside of your current relationship, those are not excuses for abusive behavior. It is also crucial to know that you can’t change your partner. If you are in an abusive relationship, you should seek help, don’t wait for your partner to change.