If your relationship is causing you headaches, remember, it’s perfectly natural to have moments of doubt. Perhaps you’ve had a fight recently, or maybe you’ve started thinking about your ex? If you’ve got cold feet and you’re not sure whether to stay with your other half, here’s a guide to 20 signs that you should leave the person you’re with.
1. Your partner is controlling: Ask yourself this – is your relationship balanced? If your other half is always telling you what to do and you behave like his/her puppet – is this a healthy way of living? No one should be above the other person in a relationship, so get your control back or get out.
2. Your friends don’t approve of your partner: If in doubt – listen to your friends. They want the best for you, and if they’ve been telling you that your partner isn’t good for you, they’re probably right…
3. It’s turned into more of a friendship than a relationship: Has the spark gone? Be honest with yourself – are you in the relationship because of habit rather than passion? Yes it’s true, passion does fade over time, but if you’ve not been going out that long and you see your partner as more of a pal, perhaps it’s time to call it a day.
4. Your partner doesn’t compliment you or make you feel special anymore: It doesn’t matter how many years you’ve been together, your partner should always make the effort to make you feel special. If you find that you feel the opposite – then it might be time to move on and find someone who gives you that butterflies feeling that’s been missing for so long.
5. He/she tries to change you: An important part of being in a relationship is the willingness to accept each others flaws and differences. If your partner is constantly trying to change you, don’t do it! Be proud of who you are and stay that way!
6. You find yourself tempted by the idea of being single again: This one speaks for itself. When we’re in a happy relationship – being single again has no appeal at all. The pros of being in a relationship massively outweigh the spontaneity of being single, but if you find it’s the complete opposite, then it’s probably time to ‘fess up to your partner that things aren’t right.
7. Your differences are driving you apart: Every couple has differences – and if the relationship is right, you should embrace them. Be supportive of his passion for the local hockey team. Be proud of her love of photography. If your differences are driving you apart, then things will probably continue to escalate…
8. Your future plans aren’t on the same page: Uh-oh. If you’re on completely different pages (for example, you definitely want to get married but your partner can’t stand the thought), then that’s a big hint you’re incompatible. If you haven’t already, be sure to speak about the important things in life and find out where you both stand.
9. Arguments are more frequent than the times you get on: Arguments are a normal part of any relationship, but you’re fighting like cat and dog and the bad times are outweighing the good, then the stress of such a volatile relationship can’t be doing either of you any good.
10. He/she lies to you: Yes, sometimes people tell porkies, but if you’re constantly picking up on lies and feel the trust isn’t in your relationship – why are you with that person?
11. You’re shy about showing your full range of emotions: Life is full of ups and downs and the turbulent emotions that go with them – but if you feel you can’t be yourself around your partner, then you may have built some serious walls in your relationship. Whether we’re elated, or having a tissues-at-the-ready major melt-down, you shouldn’t be afraid to let your partner see you in your most vulnerable state.
12. Your family aren’t close to your partner: Before your partner, you had your friends, before your friends, you had your family – you should always listen to your family’s advice as they only want the best for you. If they are critical of your partner, don’t be offended – instead listen before you bicker and ask yourself if there’s any truth in it.
13. You are embarrassed by your partner: This is a big no-no. If you’re embarrassed by your partner or you’re keeping him/her hidden from friends – ask yourself why you’re with them. You should show nothing but pride for the person you’re with and you should be bragging rather than hiding them from your friends.
14. You keep secrets from each other: A fundamental of any relationship is honesty and openness. If you feel the need to keep secrets, then is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
15. You don’t miss each other when you’re apart: Everyone loves to have their own space every now and again, but if it’s got to the stage where you’re relieved when your partner goes away and you don’t miss him/her anymore – the warning bells should ring.
16. You don’t find them attractive anymore: Would you describe your partner as sexy? Ok how about hot? Mildly attractive? If you’re shaking your head to all of these words and your partner is secretly ticking the ‘turn-off’ box, then don’t stay in a relationship just because of convenience.
17. You catch yourself thinking of other people instead of your partner: Maybe there’s someone at work you’ve got a crush on? Or perhaps an old Uni friend? If you’ve started thinking of other people at times your full attention should be on your partner, then this isn’t good for anyone. Watch where your thoughts go, before it leads into the danger zone of infidelity…
18. Your partner spends more time with his/her friends than with you: We all lead busy lives, but if your partner has started spending the majority of his/her time with friends rather than you – it’s time to ask yourselves if there’s a problem with the relationship. Is it really ‘friends’ they’re spending time with? It may be time to find out…
19. Everything your partner does irritates you: We’ve all got pet peeves, but if everything your partner does – from their laugh, to the way they pick their nails or the way they eat irritates you, then you may be subconsciously trying to talk yourself out of the relationship.
20. He/she doesn’t make you a better person: Relationships shouldn’t be about co-dependence, they should be about two independent individuals whose union improves each other’s lives. If you can’t think of anything your partner does to make you a better person – from encouraging you at work to sharing life values or supporting your wildest dreams, then it’s time to find someone who does!
Breaking up is never easy, but if you find yourself agreeing with the majority of these points, then the signs are there that it’s time to find someone better suited to you! You only live once…
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