When you’re on your period, you have many reoccurring, irrational and sometimes delusional thoughts.
Most people know to just stay clear of you until it, erm, clears up. And if they don’t, and they get caught in the wrath of your hormonal self? Well, that’s their problem. They should’ve known better.
Here’s 39 thoughts every girl has when they’re on their period.
1. I’m hungry.
2. Oh my god I’ve got so fat, how could I let this happen?
3. Oh wait, I’m on my period. That’s okay then.
4. Probably just water weight.
5. When did I last eat?
6. These stomach cramps literally feel like someone has chopped up my uterus into tiny pieces and then puzzled them back together wrong.
8. I’m so hungry.
9. I think my boyfriend’s cheating on me.
10. I feel so alone. Why do bad things happen to good people?
11. I hate my life.
12. I could really eat a XXL bacon double cheeseburger and fries and ice cream right now. x2.
13. Everyone and everything is annoying me right now.
14. When did I last change my tampon?
15. Why does this Feminax crap never work?
16. I need a hot water bottle and a bucket of chicken.
17. WHY DOES MY FACE LOOK LIKE THE GRAND CANYON RIGHT NOW?!?!
18. I’m really worried that my ovaries are actually exploding right now.
19. People should just stay clear of me during this time in my life.
20. I’m too sensitive. And angry.
21. I’m so horny but I’m so gross.
22. When did I become such a trainwreck?
23. I thought it was only meant to last like 5 days. What is this? Am I dying?
24. Can I call in sick for this?
25. I can totally call in sick for this.
26. I’m seriously going to kill someone.
27. Does tissue count as a pad?
28. Oh my god, this tampon wrapper is so loud. Now everyone in the girls’ toilets knows I’m on my period. Brilliant.
29. Do I risk white jeans?
30. Probably not a good idea.
31. Oh my god oh my god oh my god I think I’m leaking.
32. Am I leaking?!?!?!
33. False alarm. Vagina is still in tact.
34. LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE.
35. I need someone to stroke my hair and rub my back while I eat my weight in McDonald’s and cry to The Notebook.
36. I swear I’ve only just come off my period?!
37. Who ate all the Ben and Jerry’s?
Oh, I did.
38. Well, at least I’m not pregnant.
39. Wait, can I get pregnant on my period?