Signs You’re in an Entanglement
Entanglements may look like a relationship on the surface. You might spend a lot of time together, you’ve met each other’s friends and family, and people refer to you as “a couple.” But you’re not having a real relationship—at least not one that is loving and harmonious. Here’s what entanglements masquerading as real relationships look like:
1. You keep having the same issues.
When you find yourself having the same old argument with your partner, that’s a pretty good sign you’re likely in an entanglement. If you had the same problem in your . relationships, or keep picking partners with similar issues, that’s a tip-off, too.
2. You don’t feel safe or understood.
If you’re feeling like your partner just doesn’t get you, and that you’re not free to say exactly what’s on your mind, you know you’re not in a real relationship.
3. Someone is always right.
In a real relationship, each person is “awake” to his or her role in a problem, and the priority for both is relationship growth. Entanglements are power struggles. Both people are vying for the title of victim, thus making the other the perpetrator. Nobody ever wins.
4. It’s just so hard.
If you’re feeling drained with your partner, you’re likely caught up in an entanglement. In a harmonious relationship, both people take responsibility for any issues that arise, and they come up with creative solutions that further add to the positive feelings they share.