When it comes to relationship threats and killers most points are towards money which is far from the truth. Stripy Dan of Love Talk lists down 4 strong relationship killers that you must avoid at all costs.
1. Being controlling. Controlling behaviour can appear in many shape or forms, but there is a difference between being decisive and stopping your partner from growing. One example could be a person who reacts in a large way to their partner hanging around the opposite sex. They may get so insecure that they do not like it – their partner (in attempts to stop them worrying) may stop going out altogether, or be very avoiding of ordinary / social situations.
The answer: If your partner has something they wish to do and this leaves you uncertain, express that to them… but realise that you can only control yourself. Be supportive of your partner’s happiness when and where it can be. Being controlling will lead your partner to become unhappy, leading you to be unhappy too as a result. You must try and manage what kind of control is appropriate and what isn’t.
2. Becoming too dependant: Many guys and girls behave in very attractive ways before their relationship begins, but in the relationship they change and stop it altogether… they may end up attaching themselves SO much that they distance themselves from their friends and family. They may begin to assume that their value should be reflected from how their partner behaves.. but what if they break up with you? Your own dependance is putting you at a far higher risk of being in more pain and destroying your own self esteem.
The answer: Learn to be more independent. Sometimes, depression, bad feelings and negativity is all largely coupled with a low level of general responsibility. Realise that a majority of your happiness is healthy when it comes from yourself, and not solely upon another person. Being slightly less attached and independent has benefits.. you may also find that it brings a lot of spark back into your relationship, especially once you have more topics to talk to your partner about.
3. Being too flirtatious: In contrary to jealousy, sometimes there is every reason to be feeling insecurities. There is without a doubt a point where someone becomes so close to others of the opposite s’εx that their emotional needs are being met by more than 1 guy/girl. Cheating does not have to be physical, it can become emotional too. But listen to your partner. If there is something they are greatly uncomfortable with, are you willing to put that aside?
The answer: If you notice your partner is uncomfortable, try to involve them in different friendship areas and learn when the time is right to keep a safe distance from something potentially dangerous to the trust in your relationship. Once trust is broken once, it is very difficult to retain again and takes work. Recognize what is too flirtatious for a serious long term relationship because if you don’t, it could come at a cost that drives your partner away.
4. Becoming extremely predictable. There is a point where routine is damaging not only to your relationship, but to yourself. Being too predictable can sometimes be a result of having too much dependance, but when you are so predictable that your partner knows what you are going to say, do and act.. they may begin to take you and the relationship less seriously.
The answer: Try to give you and your partner some distance at times without disappearing for too long. This is not necessarily because absence makes the heart grow fonder, but because there is a great importance of having time to do your own activities away from the relationship. Try and make things a little different to the last time you were in each other’s company. Do a different activity, go for a break together – maybe just a walk or venture that see’s you outside and active. Being inside or around each other TOO often can take it’s toll sometimes, so appreciate this and try to implement the element of surprise. Try to let them know something each day, but not necessarily everything. Your partner knowing absolutely everything can sometimes be the very thing that makes you TOO predictable.
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