When you look at her, you’re speechless. It’s not just that she is beautiful, it’s that you feel something you haven’t experienced before. There’s electricity every time she walks near you. She takes your breath away without even trying.
Every time you look at her you can’t believe the good fortune that brought you together. You can’t believe that she loves you back.
At the beginning of the relationship, it’s all kisses, touching, and fantastic s*x. You can’t get enough of being with her. As the relationship progresses, the work begins, and you’re faced with a new reality. You find yourself dealing with feelings and emotions you’re not used to having.
You worry about her leaving you. You have crazy thoughts about her falling for another man. You get irritated when she doesn’t spend what you perceive to be a reasonable amount of her time with you. You give into thoughts and emotions that have the potential to damage your relationship.
Here’s what you need to know and a few things you can do to hold onto the woman who makes you want to be a better man.
1. Have your own life.
There’s nothing sexier than a confident man. When you don’t have much going on, you have too much free time to focus on your insecurities. It’s important to have lots of things you do together as a couple, but you also must have your own life, work, friends, and things you do for fun. You can’t lose your individual identity in the relationship.
Work hard at your job. Spend some solo time with your friends laughing about life. Have personal improvement projects that help you reach your biggest life goals. The point is to be busy enough not to be dependent on always being with her for you to be happy.
When you are busy and spend some time away, it’s a turn on for her. Having your own life will help you develop confidence in who you are and what you have going on in life.
2. Be the best version of yourself.
Confidence always comes when you feel good about yourself. Your health is an important part of that equation. Your goal, as a confident man, is to be in shape physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your goal should be to do the inner work that helps you become a stronger man.
Wake up every day and exercise. Use that time to release stress and get your mind right. Plan out your day, week, and month as you sweat out any bad emotions and feelings. Make food choices that nourish you and give you the energy you need to be strong all day and help you stay in your ideal weight range. Your weight will affect your relationship and s*x life.
Read books, listen to podcasts, and feed your mind with inspiration. Talk to friends, a therapist or get honest with yourself consistently about the strong emotions you’re dealing with. Don’t keep them inside. Be the best man you can be and only you know what that means to you.
3. Check your jealousy consistently.
When you’re with a beautiful woman, jealousy will become an issue. I don’t care who you are; you will deal with crazy thoughts about other guys and losing your love. Giving into jealousy is the fastest way to lose the woman you love. Jealousy is not confidence and is a HUGE turn off to all woman.
Be in control of your jealousy. It will always be there, but there are things you can do to keep it in check. Realize that many men will be attracted to your woman, that’s natural, but that doesn’t mean she will be sleeping around with every guy who gives her the time of day.
If you are in love, you have to trust in that love. You have to give her space and trust that she is faithful to your love. If you feel like she’s not, you probably shouldn’t be together.
Stay busy as I previously mentioned to keep your mind distracted. Deal with what is making you feel jealousy—are you the problem? Don’t let jealousy keep you from the love of a beautiful woman.
4. Communicate your feelings.
At the end of the day, your relationship will grow or die based off of its communication. If you can’t find a way to express some of what is going on inside, the bad feelings will win, and you’ll push her away. I don’t believe you should tell her everything—that could be too much for anyone. But, tell her what’s important. Be honest and stay in control of your emotions as you talk—no crazy outbursts.
Loving a beautiful woman, or any woman for that matter, is an incredible feeling. It’s a special kind of love that can help or hurt your life. Your actions will determine what happens.
The biggest thing to keep in mind is that you have options, and you have to make the right choices. You don’t have to let your emotions keep you from true love with the one who takes your breath away. Yes, this applies to a woman for a beautiful man, and other types of relationships.
In everything you do, put love first.
This article was originally published at The Good Men Project