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Oral sex can be one of the most incredible, orgasmic kinds of partner . around. It can also be one of the most awkward and uncomfortable. Since oral sex is just about the most intimate thing you can do with a person (say what you will about penetrative intercourse, but nothing feels quite as up-close-and-personal as face-to-genitalia action), it makes sense to take some time to figure out which oral sex position is right for you, your partner, and the situation you’re in right now.
And you really do have options. Though our visions of oral sex typically involve blowjobs, 69, and even the occasional face-sit, the oral sex position landscape is far more varied. There are plenty of positions that involve both partners reclining (so no one has to worry about sitting on top of anyone else)—and plenty that offer exciting spins on tried-and-true favorites.
Whether you’re an oral sexpert looking for new additions to your repertoire, or a beginner who’s simply searching for an oral sex position that’ll work for them, you’re sure to find it below. Orgasms and intimacy await—scroll down.
1. Comfy Blowjob
I personally have no issue with the “on your knees” blowjob position, but I know a lot of people who feel uncomfortable with the power dynamic inherent to that set-up—so let’s nix that position for now, and turn it into something more comfortable.
Have the partner receiving oral sex lie down on the bed or floor (preferably a carpet—nobody wants to give or receive head on cold tiles) with their head propped upon a pillow. The partner performing oral sex can also lie down—but on their stomach—with their head between their partner’s legs. (Face-to-balls or face-to-vulva, if you will.) The partner giving oral sex can prop themselves up as much or as little as they want to using their elbows and knees.
The Comfy Blowjob is exactly as comfy as it sounds—and offers a great view to everyone involved.
2. Relaxed Face-Sitting
Nothing about the term “sit on my face” sounds relaxing, but this comfy take on the position makes everything feel a little more low-key.
Have the partner giving oral sex lie flat on their back on the floor, bed, couch (or other setting of choice). Then, have the partner receiving oral sex straddle over their partner’s face. This is where the relaxation comes in—instead of sitting upright and looking down, the receiving partner should lean forward so they’re on all fours, resting on their hands or elbows. This offers ideal pressure and tempers some of the discomfort associated with the classic face-sit. It also enables the receiving partner to move forward and backward—allowing them to take their pleasure into their own hands.
3. Sideways 69
69 is a classic for a reason, but it can be intimidating if you’ve never tried it before. By turning the position sideways, you get the same reciprocal stimulation with none of the potential suffocation—plus, it’s just easier for everyone involved.
Start by lying on your side, facing your partner’s genitals. Have them do the same. You can lift your leg up and wrap it around your partner’s neck or body to pull them closer in and up the pressure.
4. Sitting Down and Going Down
Blowjobs are hard work! Why not sit down while you’re at it? Start by sitting side-by-side on the couch with your partner, then take turns performing oral sex in a “road head” position. (And please do this instead of ever performing actual road head.) This can be a fun way to interrupt a lazy afternoon watching TV and throw a little excitement into the mix.
5. The Side Sit
The traditional cunnilingus position—where the receiving partner lies down on the bed, legs spread—can feel incredibly intimidating, even vulnerable. If you’re not comfortable having a person’s face in between your thighs, try lying on your side to receive oral sex, instead. Turn onto either side, and pull your thighs in toward your chest—keeping your feet stretched out a bit in front of you. This offers your partner access to your vulva and anus—giving them two areas to explore—while keeping you more comfortable.
8 Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once
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Few things feel as decidedly human as makeup sex. For those moments when we’re simultaneously so enraged, so exhausted and so entranced that all we really know how to do is get it on. And since makeup sex is the natural progression of a vast array of conflicts, it pays to have an equally vast repertoire of makeup sex positions to turn to (positions that range from “petty disagreement makeup sex” to “full-fledged argument makeup sex”).
A good makeup sex position isn’t entirely loving. Because let’s be honest—you’re still a little mad. You need a way to express that resentment you’re undoubtedly still harboring for your partner while also demonstrating how much you love them. You love them in spite of that dumb thing they said about The Devil Wears Prada. You love them in spite of their bad opinions about which curtains look better in the room you share together. You love them in spite of their penchant for picking up after you (aw!) and storing your stuff in places you never manage to locate (eek).
Couples’ conflicts are at times, incredibly petty, and at other times, incredibly emotional. Humans are complicated creatures, and fighting is one of the most complicated things we do. The makeup sex that follows these conflicts is, often, as rife with dissonance as the conflicts themselves. But there’s something incredibly beautiful about the ways we can’t help but be so attracted to each other, even when we’re low-key pissed.
1. The Spanking
Slightly more aggressive than classic doggy-style sex, the Spanking is a great option for when you want to go hard—without making eye contact.
2. The Minor Offense
The Minor Offense is incredibly sweet and intimate—the sex equivalent of a post-argument hug. But it also accounts for the fact that a little anger might be bubbling beneath the surface, so the amount of eye contact and kissing that happens is totally up to you and your partner.
3. The Turned Tables
The Turned Tables is really just a classic with a twist—it’s missionary with you on top. If you want to assume control in a way that still feels close and kind of sweet, the Turned Tables is a great way to do it.
4. The Power Trip
Sex shouldn’t really ever be retributive (that’s a slippery slope leading to some seriously weird and harmful power dynamics), but if one partner is feeling particularly apologetic and the other is still a little angry, face-sitting oral makes a lot of sense. Standard oral (lying down, legs spread) can feel incredibly vulnerable, and if one partner is already on the defensive, anything that makes them feel more vulnerable is probably not a great move. The Power Trip allows for that person to get loving stimulation on their terms (it also allows them to avoid eye contact, kisses and other things that don’t feel quite right just yet).
5. The Olive Branch
Equal parts sweet and aggressive, the Olive Branch was practically made for makeup sex. Plus, the eye contact and kissing situation is totally within your control.
6. The Penalty Box
If you want something that feels particularly aggressive, the Penalty Box is a delightful spin on missionary that can deliver just that. Deep penetration, aggressive thrusting and angry eye contact—the Penalty Box has it all.
7. The Power Grab
The Power Grab should only be attempted in contexts where it’s absolutely consensual, as it’s definitely one of the most aggressive positions in this mix. That said, sometimes angry arguments are best resolved through (or at least followed-up by) angry sex—and again, as long as everything is consensual, there’s nothing wrong with expressing your emotions through a little submission and domination.
8. In Detention
In Detention ups the ante on the Olive Branch, adding intensity through hair pulling and contact with the headboard. Instead of solely being on the receiving end of penetration, the bottom partner can push their hands agains the headboard to add some resistance to their partner’s thrusting (the sexual embodiment of a lover’s quarrel, or simply a way to render sex a little more passionate). If you want to take things to an entirely new level, you can bring handcuffs into the mix. That seems like a pretty literal take on makeup sex, but hey—if you and your partner are into it, go forth.
How to Take Belfie Pictures—Butt Selfie Photo Tips
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Move over selfies, there’s a new form of self-love in town. Belfies, otherwise known as “butt selfies,” have recently taken the world by storm, and we’re here to share with you some of the best tips on how to take a belfie so you, too, can hop aboard this 21st Century phenomenon. (Seriously, a quick scroll through Instagram will remind you everyone loves a good butt photo.) But belfies aren’t merely a thirst-trappy ploy to get a ton of likes—they’re also a way to revel in the beauty of our bodies. (OK, let’s be honest here—every time I type the word “belfie,” I truly cringe, but only because it’s an annoying word. As for taking photos of your butt, I’m all for it. In fact, taking nude photos of my body has been crucial to my eating disorder and body dysmorphia recovery over the last several years.)
The only issue with belfies is, of course, that they’re hard to take. Nailing the angle in a mirror selfie is always tough, and lighting is hard to manage there, too. Using your phone’s hands-free feature is a nice way to create a more curated composition, but because you can’t see what you’re shooting as you’re shooting it, the entire process tends to involve a lot of trial and error. I’m of the mind that our world would be better with more beautiful belfies in it; taking seriously hot shots of your tush shouldn’t be as challenging as it is. So I reached out to two New York City-based boudoir photographers—Irina Mednik of French Kiss Boudoir Photography and Evgenia Ribinik of Evgenia Ribinik Boudoir Photography—to get their tushy tips and tricks for taking the best belfie possible.
Quick note: While the photos below are only dis.ing women, I want to remind and encourage you that everyone can celebrate their booty with a belfie! This isn’t just for women—this is for all bodies.
Tip 1: Angles make all the difference.
When taking a photo of, well, anything, angles make all the difference. This is especially true when it comes to your butt. Mednik notes that while butts come in a variety of shapes and sizes, many women strive for the same ideal. “Most clients want a round, plump behind that’s perfectly situated between a thin waist and lean legs,” she explains. But instead of striving for a stretchmark- and cellulite-free backside that looks like Kim Kardashian’s, you’d be better off working with what you’ve got.
Part of the beauty of belfies—and really, any nude photos at all—is that they capture you exactly as you are. They’re honest, they’re real, they’re a little bit vulnerable—and that’s what makes them so special. (Odds are, the person on the receiving end of your belfie already knows what you look like, anyway. And if you’re taking them for yourself, you definitely do.)
So instead of forcing everybody into some pop-culturally defined ideal, Mednik looks at each client individually. “Photographing their behind really depends on their bottom,” she says. Each shoot is the unique result of what a client looks like and what they value aesthetically, so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of angles.
But one tried-and-true angle Mednik turns to again and again? Having the client lie on their belly and arch their back so their tushy can “pop out.” You can use your back and your hips to add some serious shape (read: roundness) to your booty, and it’ll make the difference between your butt and waist more defined. “It’s a great optical illusion for those who don’t have much junk in the trunk—but it also works perfectly for those who do,” she says.
Tip 2: Find some belfie inspo, and recreate your favorite poses.
Since boudoir photos tend to sit at the intersection of what a person looks like and what they want to look like, there’s a lot of variation in go-to angles and posing. For this reason, a lot of boudoir photographers ask their clients to make a moodboard of their favorite boudoir shots—that way, the photographer can get a sense of the client’s aesthetic (regarding everything from poses and angles to lighting and composition).
It might seem weird to make a Pinterest board dedicated to booty shots, but odds are, you’ve already bookmarked a few Instagrams you’re interested in recreating. So start there. What do those photos have in common? Do they skew more Kim Kardashian break-the-internet Paper cover, or more artsy and authentic? Maybe something in between? Knowing what you’re trying to do will keep your belfie process moving along smoothly. But if you’re in need of a little inspo, Mednik and Ribinik shared some of their go-to poses, below:
Stand with your legs crossed. This will emphasize the shape of your tush, giving you that hourglass look so many people are fond of.
Sitting might seem like a weird move for a belfie, but according to Mednik, it’s a great choice for people with butts on the flatter side. The trick is to sit with your body angled slightly away from the camera, creating a beautiful curve to your backside—even if that curve is practically non-existent when you’re standing. (No shame—remember, flat butts can be just as beautiful as juicy ones. Your body isn’t wrong just because it doesn’t meet our current, trendy ideal.)
Side selfies are also a great option—just make sure to vary what your legs are doing. “The booty always looks rounder if the leg facing the camera is super straight while you take a side selfie,” Ribinik advises. “Popping it while in that pose also helps!” (She specifically vouched for a lower-angle set-up in this pose. “I feel like it gives the booty such a cool, round heart shape,” she says.)
I know what you’re thinking—these poses are all good and well for boudoir photography. But how am I supposed to snap anything like this without the help of a personal butt photographer? Your phone’s self-timer is your best friend. Make a day out of it and have some fun practicing poses and angles. Just find something to prop it up against, and you’ll be in business in no time.
Tip 3: Mind your lighting.
When lighting your belfies, revisit your moodboard (or your bookmarked Instagrams, or wherever else your belfie treasure trove lies). What do the photos you’ve saved look like? Is the lighting soft and romantic? Is it harsh? Different lighting set-ups can give photos entirely different vibes, so spend some time figuring out what you want on the front-end.
If you’re not sure, Mednik and Ribinik recommend starting with soft, natural light. Harsh, bright light (the kind of thing you’d get from a flash, or from a spotlight) tends to flatten your curves, leaving them blended into the background. It also tends to cast dark shadows that accentuate cellulite and uneven skin (which we’re basically all dealing with—we’re humans, after all). Soft, natural light, on the other hand, creates a more romantic mood—and it’s easier to work with. Not only can you simply open a window (no equipment, required), but you can also be a little less precise with your angles and composition and still end up with something that looks good.
Since we don’t all have professional lighting kits at our disposal, a little planning will pay off. Mednik recommends setting an earlier alarm and snapping some belfies at sunrise, “when the light is really soft and flattering.” She recommends lying on the bed with your booty up, window behind you. Situate the phone across the room so you’re sandwiched between the window and the phone. “That’s the safest light to work with,” she says. “It’s typically amazing on everyone and can even have a moody feel to it, too.”
Tip 4: Consider your composition—and what clothes you’re wearing.
You don’t have to take a photography class to learn what the “rule of thirds” is—it’s already built into your phone camera. You know that grid that pops up when you’re posting a photo on Instagram? That’s your rule of thirds grid. Situating the focal point of an image at the intersection of two of those lines will draw the viewer’s eye into the composition, making your photo more compelling.
“If I’m getting a super close-up I usually go with the rule of thirds, but the negative space to the side does look interesting as long as there isn’t clutter,” Mednik says. “You want to make sure the background is as clean and simple as possible as to not distract your eye from the real beauty in the photo—the butt.”
As far as clothing, Mednik and Ribinik both agree: The less, the better. If you’re not completely comfortable taking a nude photo, both photographers recommend a thong or cheeky panties to emphasize the curve of your booty.
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