The G-spot sometimes seems more complicated than it’s worth. To start, scientists are always debating whether or not it even exists. (Remember when they found a new G-spot altogether?) And even if it does, it’s hard to get a clear answer on exactly where it is, what it does, and how you’ll know you’re stimulating it.
That’s where we come in. We asked Celeste Hirschman and Danielle Harel, Ph.D.s, sex therapists, and co-creators of the upcoming book Making Love Real to give us the low down on the G spot: how to find it and once you have, what to do with it.
Before they get into the details, though, they clear up one enduring myth: Yes, the G-spot is a real thing. “It’s more of an area than a spot, and sometimes the location of the most sensitivity can be in different parts of the upper wall of the vagina depending on the time of month, the height of arousal, and how much stimulation it has already gotten,” admits Hirschman. That might help explain why it seems like such a unicorn—it’s something of a moving target.
Explore on Your Own
If this is your first time exploring your G-spot, Hirschman and Harel suggest that you use a contoured sex toy designed specifically for that. Lelo’s GIGI 2 ($120; lelo.com) is one gorgeous option. If you’re looking to spend a little less, try the plastic G-Gasp Delight ($20; adameve.com). Or check out one of these erotic appliance upgrades. “The harder material gives you the power you need to get enough stimulation,” Harel explains. Lube the toy up and slide it in you, then tilt it so the head presses against the front wall of your vagina. “When you hit your G-spot, you’ll know—you’ll feel an intense sensation not only inside, but spreading up through your pelvic area, sending sensations through your center,” Hirschman says.
Ask for a Helping Hand
Once you have a good idea of the general area and feeling you’re looking for, ask your man to give you a hand. During foreplay, he can use his index and middle finger to find your G-spot then make the infamous “come here” gesture to stimulate it, says Harel. “If you like the idea of squirting, this is the most likely way to do it,” she adds. By the way: It might take some cortortionism, but you can do this solo too. After all, female masturbation has some amazing perks.
Do the Modified Doggie
During sex, the best position is a modified doggie style, Harel notes. Rather than being directly behind you, your partner should position his hips slightly above yours, then push down toward your G-spot as he enters you.
Missionary position doesn’t need to be boring! It can also be tweaked to be more G-spot friendly, says Hirschman. Have him kneel in front of you (instead of lying on top of you), and put a pillow under your butt to raise your hips up. As he thrusts, he can angle his penis slightly upward, so it rubs against the G-spot.
Try the Leg Glider
One final position that makes stimulating your G-spot during sex easier: Lie on your side with your legs spread apart. Have your man kneel between your legs. In this position, he’ll have plenty of freedom to angle his thrusts one way or another. To hit your G-spot, he should aim to put pressure on that front wall.