They say love “seeketh not her own,” but when it comes to boosting the romance in your marriage, it’s OK to focus on yourself. If you’ve wondered how to keep your husband hopelessly in love, take heed: It all starts with you.

1. Become a better version of yourself

… like a nurse, an architect, or a middle-school teacher. This isn’t about role .; it’s about finally pursuing your educational and vocational dreams – and adding one more intriguing layer to your character. If you’ve been sacrificing your aspirations in support of your partner, you’re not doing either of you any favors. For one, ignoring your own dreams will only make you feel resentful, which can lead to anger, depression or even boredom. Knowledge isn’t just power; it’s also pretty sexy. When you add that new layer to yourself – in the form of a new degree, certificate or skill – your husband won’t help but notice.

2. Sweat more often

A silly magazine might tell you that a toner, firmer bod will make your husband fall in love with you again. While this likely isn’t the case, getting to the gym can actually have a positive effect on your marriage. regular sweat sessions can improve your relationships, for a number of reasons. Not only does exercise help reduce stress (making you a happier, nicer person), but it also boosts your s*x drive – a side effect your husband won’t likely complain about. If you’re looking to make him swoon again, grab that yoga mat and get to work.

3. Get some energy

If you’ve told your husband, “I’m too tired,” more times than you’d care to admit, your marriage could be paying the price for your lack of energy. This isn’t just about s*x; while your energy levels no doubt affect the intimacy in your marriage, they also . a role in the dynamic of your relationship. Trying new things, creating new adventures and talking out problems – all important aspects of a healthy, thriving marriage – require a good amount of energy. If you just don’t have it, don’t despair.

4. Broaden your horizons
While marriage is all about compromise, it’s also about allowing your spouse to open your eyes – and heart – to different experiences. Make a commitment to be more tolerant of activities that might make you a little uncomfortable. entrusting yourself to your partner and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in an uncomfortable situation will make him love you even more.

5. Get healthy

When you got married, you and your husband vowed to love each other “in sickness and in health.” That said, human beings (and other animals) are fundamentally – consciously and subconsciously – attracted to physical health and vitality. That means the heat in your marriage might be less about lingerie and chocolate and more about the health of your immune system.

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