Every person has their ups and downs: The guy you fell for because he was funny can be boring some nights, the life of the party can occasionally get bummed out, and that smoking hot body might put on a few extra pounds over the holidays.
When you enter into relationships, you are accepting an imperfect and fallible human being, which means you are signing up for both highs and lows.
However, if the life of the party seems down in the dumps for too long, you might go a little out of your way to cheer him up or get him help to get “back to normal.” It can affect his health; it can affect your attraction and s*x life; it can affect your relationship.
Excessive weight gain over a long period falls under the same umbrella. Only the vainest and most judgmental are going to complain about someone fluctuating five or ten pounds temporarily. That’s life, and would you want to be in a relationship with a person that fickle anyway?
Weight can be a sensitive issue, though, so he might be hesitant to address it with you directly. Unless your blood is literally made of Big Macs, he’s not going to reach up and smack the fork out of your mouth.
While it would be better to address it directly, he may try to have his cake and eat it too, by prodding you to shed a few pounds without outright calling you out.
Here are 5 signs he wants to help you get back into shape without hurting your feelings. And then maybe the two of you could talk about it. You know, like adults.
1. He wants you to be his gym buddy.
This is probably the most altruistic and supportive of the passive-aggressive approaches. Sweating together outside of the bedroom can sometimes be more fulfilling than inside it.
He’s trying to say he wants you to be healthy and he’s willing to help you get there. As a couple, you’re a team. Not only can you reach your health goals together, but you can grow closer in the process.
2. He starts taking you on more active/outdoorsy dates out of nowhere.
Does he suddenly want to go hiking all the time, even though you’ve never done that before? Does he want to . sports when you’re just a couple of nerds who get down with board games on a typical Friday night?
It’s another way to try guiding you in a healthy direction, so at least do it together.
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3. He’s bringing up health topics more often than seems normal.
Talking about diets or workout routines can be perfectly normal conversations. But if they’re happening all the time, he may be trying to bring your own health to the top of your mind.
Sometimes, the best way to convince someone to make a change is to have them come to the realization on their own, perhaps with a slight nudge.
4. He’s suddenly eating less or eating way healthier.
With each other, dudes will often try to lead by example. And in relationships, couples tend to mirror each other more and more as time goes on.
Combine these two effects, and he’s hoping eating healthier will rub off on you.
5. He’s complimenting other women’s eating or workout habits out of the blue.
This is a more insidious tactic, and definitely lands on the aggressive side of the passive-aggressive spectrum. He’s trying to use your jealousy to fuel his desires.
Definitely tackle the issue head on with your partner if it seems like he’s trying to use negative reinforcement to get what he wants. NOT cool.
As a reminder, I’m not condoning any of these tactics; I’m merely pointing them out so you can recognize the issue and talk it out with your partner.
If you’re in a strong, trusting relationship, chances are that he’s concerned for your health and its effects on your relationship, and wants to help you without hurting your feelings.