You’re Made To Feel Ashamed: If you’re not comfortable being vulnerable with your spouse and are even made to feel ashamed about it, it’s not a good marriage. “When you share your struggles and difficulties you not only strengthen your bond through your vulnerability but you also set the precedence for an open and nonjudgmental relationship for the future,” says Dana Peters, life coach, over email with Bustle.
You are having tension between families: “While I’d advise anyone to execute their best judgement, it’s never the best idea to keep secrets about your family,” says Peters. “Ultimately the truth comes out and your partner may question why you felt you couldn’t be straight with them about any of your family issues,” Peters adds. Plus, if family drama is too tense, it could cause several issues in the marriage that might not be worth the struggle.
You lie about finances: Peters says that if you lie about finances, you’re jeopardizing the relationship and the trust between you and your partner. “It may be a difficult conversation to have but being transparent about your financial situation may help you avoid smaller arguments based off a misunderstanding about each others financial situations,” Peters says. If there’s financial secrecy, it might be time to get a divorce to protect your future.
You don’t trust each other: Trust is so important for a marriage to work. If you no longer trust your partner, it could mean that it is destined for divorce and you need a clean slate. If you think your partner could be cheating or lying to you, talk to him or her about it first, and if it’s not resolved for too long, consider calling it quits.
You experience abuse: If there’s abuse of any kind, emotional or physical, it’s time to say goodbye and move on. Violence should never be tolerated, and it clearly signifies an unhealthy and toxic marriage. It’s normal to be scared, but letting go and getting a divorce to protect yourself will better your future.
Having s*x is a challenge: Things get busy, so not having s*x like you used to when first dating or early on in marriage is pretty normal for couples, with time. Yet, if your s*x life is zero, and it’s mostly because you’re no longer attracted to your spouse or interested in having s*x with him or her (or are maybe even fantasizing about s*x with another person), it could be a clear predicator of divorce.
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