In real life, love is knowing a person’s face, learning how their eyes flash when they’re happy, how they like to be touched when they’re sad or happy or turned on, and how to get through conflict together.
1. Compliment him.
Where did we get the notion that only women like to be told they look good, smell good, are hot, smart or sexy?
It’s easy: Tell him the good stuff when it occurs to you. Tell him he looks hot when he wears that old beat-up tee shirt. Let him know how much you love smelling his neck when you hug.
2. Tell him you appreciate what he does for you and your family.
It’s easy: Tell him that you know how hard it can be to do what he does. Tell him you appreciate it and that you see his commitment. It’s not about the money—yours or his—it’s about acknowledging something what society usually takes for granted.
3. Make time for things to get hot in the bedroom.
It’s easy: Nurture your desire for him. Choose to fantasize about him, about a time you were together, about that favorite part of his body that you love so much. Then heap all that desire upon him when you have the next opportunity to be together, alone.
4. Be supportive of his alone time.
It’s easy: Smile when he says he’s off to do the things that make him happy on his own. Give him a kiss. He’ll feel seen, heard and supported.
5. Put down your phone.
It’s easy: Be in the moment when you’re with the person you love. Try not to let it slip by while you stare at a screen.
6. When you get something for yourself, get something for him, too.
Picking up a coffee? Grab him one! Making a cup of tea? Offer to make him one, too. It’s not about the money spent, it’s about the fact that I’m saying to him, “I know you love surf shops, and I thought of you when I was there.”
7. Look him in the eyes.
You don’t have to stare longingly at one another like you used to with your 9th grade boyfriend. Just take a moment to connect, eye-to-eye, and share looks with one another.