So how can you recognize the warning signs before your libido is lost? These seven signs should help you recognize you’re on the path to a sexless marriage:
1. You’re not talking about s*x
s*x can be uncomfortable to talk about, even with your partner. But couples who talk to each other about s*x have s*x more often. This is likely because these couples are comfortable discussing what they do or do not like, making both parties enjoy s*x more.
You should work to overcome your discomfort, fear of hurting your partner’s feelings, and thoughts that such conversation is not appropriate if you want to have a healthy s*x life.
2. You withhold s*x as punishment
Withholding s*x from your partner is manipulative and can create feelings of resentment that can cause long-lasting problems for both your relationship and s*x life. Using s*x as a reward demotes it from an act of love to a power struggle. Never use this beautiful act as a way to control your spouse.
3. You watch p****graphy
Lots of couples give P0*n the credit for the success of the s*xual lives. What they don’t realize is that sexually explicit material is actually driving them towards a sexless marriage.
Studies reveal that p****graphy leads to less satisfying s*x and can even cause you to not have s*x at all. The most comprehensive study on p****graphy discovered that the more P0*no a person sees, the less aroused they are by their partner because your brain is more satisfied by P0*nographic images than real s*x. This can even cause erectile dysfunction, making you incapable of having s*x.
In this way, if you persist in watching p****graphy, you will be less likely to desire real intimacy and are carving a path towards a sexless marriage.
4. You don’t feel attractive
Sometimes you may just be wiped out, and you don’t have time to take care of yourself. You stand in line at the grocery store trying to keep your child from chewing a whole pack of gum no one paid for while the magazines keep trying to define what “sexy” means.
If your self-image is suffering, it can make you want to have s*x less and less. Both partners in a relationship need to make sure that their significant other feels attractive. But it’s also important that that confidence comes from you. Take some time out for yourself to remember how great you are.
5. You only have s*x on special occasions
Probably the most obvious sign that you’re on your way to a sexless marriage is if you’re already having s*x less frequently.
The effects of not having s*x are cyclical. The more s*x you have, the more you want. But on the other hand, the less s*x you have, the less you want it. This happens because having s*x triggers the creation of s*x hormones which make you want to have s*x. But when you’re not sexually active, these hormones are created less and less, diminishing your desire to have s*x.
Sometimes, in order to have s*x more, you need to have s*x more. If necessary, schedule s*x dates. Increasing the amount you have s*x will also increase the amount you want to have s*x, preventing you from having a sexless marriage.
6. You or your partner is unfaithful
It’s understandable if you don’t feel motivated to make love to your partner when they betrayed you. It can take a while to rebuild the trust that fuels intimacy.
But you can cheat on your spouse without doing anything physical. If you are flirting, sharing secrets, spending alone time with, or dressing to attract the attention of someone else, you are still being unfaithful to your spouse. Doing any of these things can make you not want to have s*x with your partner as much and, in turn, disrupt your partner’s desire to have s*x as well.
7. You don’t have privacy
If you and your partner never have a minute to yourselves, there’s obviously no opportunity for you to get intimate. You may need to get creative to find time that you can be alone. But if you don’t make privacy a priority, you are in danger of having a sexless marriage.
You need to remember what it was like to be in love with your partner before you involved all the physical stuff. Take time to talk and go on dates. When you become attracted to your partner mentally and emotionally again, you may become attracted physically as well.
If you recognize any of these signs in your marriage, make changes to prevent your marriage from becoming sexless.