Here are the top seven things (in reverse order) they collectively said they MOST want to hear the women in their lives say to them:
7. How are you doing?
And he wants you to mean it! Add to this, How can I make you happier? How can I make our lives better? and your man knows he has the deep connection he craves. “This makes me feel loved, listened to, cared about, heard, and understood,” one man commented. Another said, “I feel connected on a deep level when she genuinely cares about my inner well-being and truly ‘gets it,’ and gets me at that moment.”
6. You make me feel safe + You make me feel beautiful
When a man loves you, he wants to take care of you and make you feel special. Letting him know his efforts are successful inspires him to keep working hard at building a life with you. As one man explained, “When a woman tells me those two things, I feel I’ve built a good place for us in which all other things are possible.”
5. I support you + I’m proud of you + I believe in you
As the Tammy Wynette song goes, “Stand By Your Man.” Your man needs to know he can count on you — whether that’s encouraging him when he’s taking a risk or popping the champagne to celebrate when he wins. “[Her support] gives me the confidence to face challenges,” a survey respondent said.
Why? Because your man respects you, for the work you do and the person you are. So, when you support him, believe in him, and feel proud of him, he feels like he’s honoring your relationship in a meaningful way.
4. Let’s go out (Or: Let’s stay in)
Whichever way it goes, ladies, your guy wants you to mix it up and make time spent together not just “productive” but also fun. Relationships get stale if they always follow the same old routine.”I want to feel excited about being together.” (By the way, if he’s always taking you out and you decide to stay in and make a great meal, he’d also appreciate if you did the dishes, too.)
3. I want you
2. Thank you
Gals, I can’t tell you how many guys just want you to appreciate them for what they do. He knows you need him. He loves to help. Sometimes he’s so attuned to making you happy, you actually need to tell him when he’s done enough.
“That she sees me working hard and she appreciates the efforts and results,” one man said. “[It let’s me know] that I make her happy,” said another. “That she likes it when I do nice things for her and I make her feel special.”
1. I love you.
According to the men I spoke with, these are by far the words men most want to hear. And when you say “I love you,” your guy wants to hear your soul speaking to his. He wants to feel, in every fiber of his being, that your love is unwavering and unconditional. Saying “I love you” in this way allows him to feel vulnerable and express his deep love for you in return. Isn’t that what we all want?
“A woman who can mirror that expression with equal honesty and intensity is what I most want,” one survey respondent said. Another said, “For me the words are very important but the thing that makes it REALLY meaningful is if the words come along with ‘the look’ or, even better, a touch or a hug — the best would be with all of the above!”