They’re a rare breed.
The more women I talk to, the more I realize that the gentleman is a rare breed. The mission of the New Chivalry Movement is to bring men (and women) together who strive to be the best versions of themselves, and love and respect those around them.
As the gentleman has become less prominent, so have the respectful acts that define him. Here are eight acts of romance we often overlook and should work to bring back.
1. He opens doors for you.
This is one of the staples of chivalrous respect and probably the easiest to perform, as we all walk through doors every day. I don’t want to make any assumptions, but something tells me the extra few seconds it takes to open a door or let someone walk through first won’t ruin your day.
The same goes for car doors. A woman will appreciate you getting out of the car to open the door for her, or walking around to her side first when you’re picking her up. It’s amazing to me how many men don’t do this.
2. He calls you instead of texting.
Just the fact that you would take the time to actually call a woman to ask her out on a date will put you light years ahead of your competition (of which there’s a lot). Plus, you’ll be able to tell how excited or enthusiastic she is (or isn’t) about accepting your offer by actually hearing her voice.
3. He walks on the street side of the sidewalk.
The purpose of this lost art is to show your willingness to be splashed should a passing car run through a puddle. Furthermore, in some countries people would throw trash out of windows, and the person walking closer to the building was less likely to be hit. It’s an effortless way to show her that you care.
4. He walks you to your door.
At the end of your date, especially early on in the relationship, walk her safely to her door. This is especially important if she lives in a city. It shows you’re willing to put effort into protecting her and makes her feel safe — two important aspects of building her trust and comfort.
5. He sends good morning texts.
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A good morning text first thing doesn’t just say, “Good morning” — it says, “You’re the first person I thought of when I woke up today.” Small romantic acts aren’t just for the “Honeymoon Phase” of your relationship. Consistency is key. (Hint: This includes goodnight texts, too.)
6. He understands the etiquette of who leads who.
Proper etiquette dictates that in situations — such as being seated by a host/hostess at a restaurant, theater, or places of the like — the woman is to lead. In more crowded places that may require a push or two to get through, the man is to lead the woman. Bonus points for reaching back and holding her hand behind you to keep her close.
Furthermore, she is to lead walking up stairs, and he is to lead going down stairs. These may seem like small details, but in a world where etiquette is often brushed aside, those who pay attention to the details are those who stand out from the crowd.
7. He puts his hand on the small of your back when introducing you to someone.
This is something I read a long time ago and it stuck with me for some reason. This is a passive sign of affection and isn’t inappropriate in a public setting, but it bonds the two of you together and helps her feel more comfortable.
8. He actually takes the time to plan a date.
One of the most common complaints I hear from women is that men expect a casual text invitation to “hang out” to pass as a date, and to send the same message. It most definitely does not. The effort you put into planning a date sends a woman the message of how much you are (or aren’t) truly interested in her.
In the age of technology, you’re likely texting or chatting for awhile before you actually see each other. Use this time to discover some of her interests and plan something accordingly. In an age of apathy, your efforts will be well-received.
Chivalry has evolved, as it should. It isn’t reasonable to expect to read articles telling us to lay our jackets across a puddle so our date may walk across it, but it is reasonable to understand that common courtesy and respect never go out of style.
While many of today’s men have lost sight of these simple acts, or perhaps never learned them in the first place, the gentleman who holds himself to higher standards will always work to keep them alive.
This article was originally published at James M Sama.