Short story — other than a handful of politicians, people generally characterize sexting and p****graphy as cheating. So, why do committed men in a relationship cheat?
The married man never intended to be faithful in the first place. The words involved in the commitment ceremony were just words to him. Whether deliberately or not, he mislead his partner. Maybe his father was a philanderer. Or maybe he just lied.
“Cheaters Cognitive Dissonance” has reared its subjective head. The man has successfully separated himself from what he does. He considers himself to be good, and he does something bad (cheat) for a good reason (whatever).
This married man is arrogant. He may feel that he is above other men, or that rules and standards are for normal guys who aren’t as together as he is. If his mate isn’t available for his every s*xual want or need, he feels justified in finding what he needs somewhere else. Besides, he is so smart and clever that there is no way anyone will ever catch him cheating, so who cares?
The man is insecure or immature. He may feel the need for continued attention from his partner in order to be “enough” or to “be all that he can be.” Monogamy is secondary to his need for constant affirmation.
This man isn’t able to, or simply hasn’t, made a commitment. There are many reasons — some of them quite legitimate. An abusive background can leave scars that are not easily healed. He may be looking for a way to fill needs that he doesn’t understand, much like some men do with SUBSTANCE ABUSE. Be aware that hyper se*uality and poor s*xual impulse control are symptoms of Bipolar Disorder.
The guy is through with the relationship and is looking for a plan B.
He is addicted to the rush. Maybe he is looking for the excitement that his relationship was while it was fresh and new. Maybe he has not had examples of long-term monogamy that are fulfilling, and doesn’t understand the intimacy that comes with time and experience.
For this man, monogamy or loyalty have never been important in his grand scheme.
Seth Meyers Psy.D in “How to Define Emotional Infidelity: Different Types Cheating” states:
“The best indicator (of a healthy relationship) is to consider the character of your partner and to ask yourself how much you truly trust his or her integrity. How loyal is your partner to his or her friends? To his or her job? To his or her family?”
Perhaps an equally telling question you may want to ask is, why does this man think cheating is acceptable?