No, it’s not “self-esteem”
There’s a thin line between ego and self-esteem. First, it can present itself as one in the same and you’re attracted to his confidence and assertiveness. As you dig deeper into your relationship, you’ll learn that the ego will only serve itself and therefore, ruin your relationship.
What’s the difference between ego and self-esteem?
Men with big egos are often insecure and try to cover up those insecurities with overcompensation. In truth, the man with a big ego lacks confidence and self-love.
On the other hand, a man with high self-esteem has confidence in his own abilities, knows his shortcomings, and loves himself. He’s secure enough with who he is and is able to unmask.
So are you dating the man or his ego? Here are 8 signs to watch out for:
1. He talks about himself — a lot.
The ego is more interested in his own life and struggles than he is in yours. Often when you share something, he can turn it around and make it about him. Take notice of who’s doing most of the talking and sharing in your relationship. Does he hijack every topic and answer questions on your behalf in social situations?
2. He protects himself first.
The ego wants to protect itself before all else, even if it means protecting itself from being bruised by you. He often runs away at any sign of conflict and will build evidence to justify his actions even if it means hurting you in the process.
3. He won’t take your advice.
God forbid you are right about something and he’s wrong. What if he does take your advice and something amazing happens? He won’t be able to take all the credit and his ego can’t take that.
4. He compares himself and your relationship to others.
The ego is served by outside circumstances instead of internal love. His ego is running the show. It will compare itself to others to measure it’s self worth. The worst is when he compares himself to you and loses self-esteem when he believes you outperformed him.
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5. He’s not present.
The ego decides what is worth his time and what’s not. He is unable to stay in the moment. He is impatient and doesn’t connect with others.
6. He’s here for the boost.
This relationship serves him alone. He’s dependent on your love to boost his self-value. He knows he’s not for you, yet he will keep you around because you give him that ego boost.
7. He criticizes you often.
The ego thrives when others fail. He’s quick to point out your faults or tell you when you’re wrong. He never gives you constructive criticism on how to do better.
8. He’s jealous.
His ego is the only important person in your life. He keeps bringing up the ex you’re still friends with and asks you where you are if you’re out past a certain time. He doesn’t like how much time you spend with your family.
We all have an ego. When it’s left unrestrained, it can destroy your relationships with anger, fear, and jealousy. Get rid of the man with the self-serving ego and find a guy who loves himself. A man who doesn’t love himself will never be able to truly love you.