From the time they are very young, most women are taught to be kind, polite and humble.
But this need to be polite or humble can take a turn for the worse if we are trying to constantly let people know that we are not trying to be abrasive or overbearing.
Here are nine common phrases women like to use, but need to stop; because they are completely unnecessary and usually undermine the power women have.
I am terribly guilty of this one. I say it almost as automatically as please and thank you, even in situations when it is not appropriate or necessary. I had a friend who asked me one time, “Why do you apologize so much?” and I honestly didn’t have an answer.
Many women are guilty of over-apologizing in order to people please. If you aren’t at fault, don’t apologize. Over-apologizing takes the worth out of actually being sorry for something you may have actually done wrong.
“I just … ”
Most people may not be aware, but the word “just” is actually short for “justification.” This means when you use “just,” you are technically saying that you want to justify the statement or question that follows it.
Whether you’re in a professional work setting, asking your husband to take the garbage out or asking kids to pick up their clothes, there is no need to justify asking for anything. Just ask!
“It’s fine” or “It’s OK”
When you say these things, everyone around you actually knows it’s quite the opposite. Saying “It’s fine” or “It’s OK” is usually a pointless endeavor because you actually aren’t fine or OK.
If you need a moment to cool off before talking about or doing something that upsets you, just say so. Don’t put a word Band-Aid on it and then let it sit and stew. Express yourself and how you feel and you will sound like the adult woman that you are.
“Does that make sense?”
I am also guilty of overusing this phrase. If you are articulate and explain yourself sufficiently then why would you not make sense?
Most of the time women like to use this phrase to receive affirmation that the person we are talking to heard what we said and acknowledged it. The truth is that they probably did, and we don’t need to ask if they understood over and over again.
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“I was ‘good’ today so I can eat that” or “I worked out today so I can eat that”
It is important to be healthy and to take care of yourself. But that’s the thing: Your health is YOUR business and nobody else’s.
You do not have to justify out loud what you can and cannot eat. There is no such thing as being “good” or “bad” when it comes to eating, and don’t let anyone else tell you differently. If you want to indulge, indulge. If you know you are going to work out later or have been eating really healthy, good for you. But don’t feel you have to say something about it out loud in order for others to be OK with what you are eating.
“Can I pull this off?”
Society will tell you that only certain people will look good in certain styles. But that is completely bogus.
If you like something and are comfortable wearing it, just wear it! You need to be comfortable with you, and that’s all that matters. There is no reason to continue the idea of who can wear what. Confidence means you can pull anything and everything off.
“Women are so dramatic” or “Women are crazy”
Guess what? You’re a woman! Why would you want to call yourself, or your mom, or your best friend crazy?
Everyone, no matter their gender, has erratic days, bad days, good days, sad days. Saying that “women are so dramatic” not only propagates an idea that women are constantly seeking drama when they aren’t, but it also disregards the fact that all people have emotions and issues that sometimes bubble to the surface.
“Men prefer ‘this’ rather than ‘that’”
If a man loves you, it is usually because of who you are — every quirk, tick, crazy laugh, beautiful smile, etc. Telling each other to change to please someone else is no good.
“I’m not high maintenance” or “I’m low maintenance”
First off, this makes you sound like a pet or a new car. There is no need to “maintain” you in any way, so saying you are “high” or “low” maintenance is insignificant.
You are a human with basic needs and rights, and there need not be any justification for any of them. If there is someone who believes those needs are too much, it isn’t your problem.
Women, constantly justifying our wants and needs in order to not seem demanding is a waste of time. In a work setting it can come off as unprofessional, and in a life setting it comes off as if you are diminishing yourself. Be more aware of how you are using these phrases.