Finding the right person is a beautiful, mystifying, humbling thing. It throws you for a complete loop. You discover that everything you thought you knew about love was wrong.
It’s a feeling that cannot be described — no matter how many times you’ve heard it before. You just can’t understand it completely until you’ve experienced it. So much of what seemed important before stops being so important. What you thought you NEEDED in another person changes.
Dealbreakers and “types” stop mattering. Stuff you thought you hated in the opposite gender doesn’t bother you. When you find your soulmate, everything about that person will turn you on. And I mean EVERYTHING.
And that is a truly magnificent thing. Here are 9 of the things that just stop mattering when you finally find your soulmate:
1. That annoying quirk
It’s no secret that people are truly the worst. I hate people. You hate people. We all hate people.
When you find the right person, things that once would have made you f*cking insane become cute or — at the very least — tolerable. That’s the thing about finding the right person: Your tolerance level increases.
Your partner’s whistling in the morning before you’ve had your coffee, gum-chewing that sounds like a cow chewing its cud — these things suddenly stop being so important when they’re coming from your person.
2. Body hair that wouldn’t be sexy on anyone else
Before I met my boyfriend, I was into clean-shaven, spiffy guys. No homeless-looking, scraggly men for me, thanks. I have my mother to credit for my taste in men. She is NOT a fan of HAIR.
But then I met my boyfriend. He is seriously MANLY. He has hair all over his body. He has a scrumptious beard that I cannot get enough of. AND he has hair on his back. Normally, this would repulse me. But on him, it’s sexy. Because I love him, everything about him is sexy to me.
When you fall head-over-heels for another person, you start to really realize that there are no “types.” Having a “type” is a complete fallacy that we use to justify turning down potential partners. In reality, there are just people whose souls connect with yours. That is what it means to truly be in love.
3. Your nerve-wracking worries about the future
It’s human nature to freak out about the future. Everything is so uncertain, and this level of discomfort is only intensified when you’re single. It just adds another layer of worry when you have “finding a life partner” on your list of things “to do.”
When you find your soulmate, these worries don’t go away, but they become far less frightening. You have a major chip in the game; you have something really essential to your happiness figured out. You have a PARTNER.
Suddenly, everything seems doable, because you know that you can conquer the challenges together.
4. Your insecurities
Everything that you were embarrassed about just doesn’t even f*cking matter anymore. The love of your life doesn’t love you in spite of your quirks and the weird sh*t you do. He or she loves you because of them.
Everything about that other person will be HOT to you — and visa versa. You start embracing what makes you different, because you finally understand that this makes you lovable. You’re perfect inside of your imperfections.
5. When he or she is gross AF
Your boo is banging even after a super-sweaty workout. The very scent of your SO’s skin makes you horny. Even when he or she is in desperate need of a shower, you still want to be all over it.
When I wake up in the morning with eyeliner crusted down my face, my boyfriend says I’m adorable. He means it, and that is the best feeling in the world. Love is about adoring all parts of someone. It means wanting people at their absolute worst and being there to cheer them on at their best.
6. Physical appearance
I know it’s cheesy as f*ck, but if you’ve ever been in love, you know that your partner’s looks literally don’t matter. Beauty is completely subjective, anyway. Obviously you’re not going to suddenly be into uggos, but the more you fall for someone, the SEXIER they become.
In the end, it really is personality that will get you through the future together. Beauty fades. Sorry, guys, it’s true. Time to get a goddamn clue.
A hot body and face might get you hard, but it won’t last. The older you get, your expectations for a partner start to shift. You start to want someone who will be a good partner and parent, not (just) a hot lay.
As a single person, you relish your privacy. It extremely important to maintain a sense of personal identity. Even in the early months of a blooming romance, you strive to keep your “me time” as regular as possible. The last thing you want to be is one of “those” couples.
Once you find the one, you realize that you could never be one of “those” couples. Because you’re not dating some guy who will mean nothing to you one day; you’re dating your best friend. You’re dating your soulmate.
You aren’t an annoying couple, because you’re so much more than that. You’re two halves, but you’re also two equally whole individuals.
You make each other better because you make each other stronger. Everyone can see this. This crucial difference is what sets apart a boyfriend or girlfriend from a husband or wife.
8. Your soulmate’s questionable life choices.
If love will teach you one thing, it is unconditional support for another person’s dreams. Your significant other may make some seriously dubious career decisions, but it your job to be there for him or her.
You can’t scoff at the impossibility of success, no matter how strongly you feel that your partner may fail. If he or she does, you’ll be there to pick up the pieces. You have to be supportive of his or her dreams. You can expect the same in return.
Once you meet the right person, you feel capable of anything. You know you’ll be there for each other no matter what happens. That safety net has the power to make you braver.
9. Anyone else’s f*cking opinion.
When you find the right person, you stop asking for advice from other people. It doesn’t f*cking matter what anyone else thinks.
It won’t matter that your mom doesn’t think your partner makes enough money, it won’t matter that your friends think he or she isn’t good-looking enough, and you won’t give a sh*t that your sister thinks he or she is boring.
You will not give a f*ck what anyone else thinks. It’s very liberating.
If you know in your heart that this is the right person, if this person makes you feel special, beautiful and loved every single day, if you wake up every single morning feeling happy, fulfilled and excited, then F*CK everyone else. The only opinion that matters is your own.