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Adventurous Sex Positions That You Can Totally Do

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If you’re like a lot of people, you probably have a greatest-hits reel of go-to sex positions that rock your world. (*Raises hand*) Sure, there’s something to be said for familiarity, but sometimes, it’s nice to shake things up between the sheets. Here are six adventurous sex positions that take tried-and-true missionary sex to the next hot-and-bothered level.

STYLECASTER | 6 Adventurous Sex Positions That Aren't All That Intimidating

Ashley Britton/SheKnows.

1. Good Vibes Only

This position is a versatile addition to literally any sex position — provided you have the right toys. “In any position, place a vibrator right at the point of penetration, on the clitoris or on the perineum,” Candice Smith, Harvard-educated sex expert and educator, says. She encourages couples to experiment with various positions and vibrator sizes. “We’ve been successful with a Hitachi in nearly every position, so if a vibe that size can work, any vibe can work,” says Smith. “If you’re feeling especially adventurous, try two vibrators — one to stimulate each partner.”

6 Adventurous Sex Positions That Aren't All That Intimidating

Ashley Britton/SheKnows.

2. Lazy Sunday

If you’re not familiar with Liberator’s sex props and furniture, you should be. Think of them as amazing all-body assists that enhance sexy time. Their Esse chaise is designed for rear-entry sex positions. Its curved and contoured shape allows couples to slide comfortably into the scoop, which positions their bodies in perfect alignment. “Lie back against a fluffy pillow so your upper body is at a 45-degree angle,” Angela Lieben of Liberator says. “Have your lover slip on top of you facing upward. Your lover can enter and pump their hips forward and backward.”

For super-intense penetration and a tighter squeeze, Lieben suggests keeping your thighs close together. “If you’re craving more intimacy, turn your face to the side and invite them to give you kisses all alongside your neck, ear and face.”

6 Adventurous Sex Positions That Aren't All That Intimidating

Ashley Britton/SheKnows.

3. Silent Sex Disco

Here’s how it works: Both partners select their own “bangin’ .list,” then each put on noise-canceling headphones before getting down. “For a fun switch, exchange headphones — or make a sex jams .list for each other to listen to,” says Smith.

Partners can also listen to porn or an erotic audiobook if that helps them get in the mood. “For safety’s sake, partners should give each other a silent, safe signal (like a safe word, but a pattern of taps instead of a verbal word),” says Smith.

6 Adventurous Sex Positions That Aren't All That Intimidating

Ashley Britton/SheKnows.

4. The Fantastic Rocking Horse

“The rocking horse position is when whoever is penetrating sits cross-legged and leans back, either on a wall or supporting themselves with their hands,” Rachel Wright, licensed marriage and sex therapist and cofounder of Wright Wellness Center, tells SheKnows. “The person ‘receiving’ kneels over his lap and starts hugging him with their thighs and starts to lower down. This way, the receiver is in charge of the speed and depth of penetration, and whoever is sitting down can relax and cop a feel.”

This position allows for excellent clitoral access, and it’s great for G-spot stimulation. It also gives control to both partners, but with different aspects. On top? It gives you control for speed and penetration. If you’re on the bottom, it gives you full control to touch and tease your partner while they try to control other things “This position is extra passionate because it gives you the opportunity to include a lot of eye contact during your sex sesh. Sounds fun, huh?” says Wright.

6 Adventurous Sex Positions That Aren't All That Intimidating

Ashley Britton/SheKnows.

5. Blindfolded Leading the Blindfolded

This sensory-deprivation position requires both partners to be blindfolded before getting down to, um, business. “Blindfolds should go on from the very beginning — from making out to oral sex, all the way through penetrative sex,” says Smith. “With both partners blindfolded, you’ll have to really slow down your touch. This will also help partners hone their focus and sexual presence to really lose themselves in physical sensation. Just make sure, if you’re standing at the edge of the bed, that there aren’t any Legos on the floor!”

6 Adventurous Sex Positions That Aren't All That Intimidating

Ashley Britton/SheKnows.

6. “Spreader” Eagle

Usually, you have to possess some semblance of Aly Raisman’s gymnastic skills to try some of the more advanced positions in the Kama Sutra, but this sex position actually helps you get your y. on.

“Use not one, but two spreader bars for hands and feet,” says Smith. “We like spreader bars because they are adjustable for comfort but also versatile in positioning, so you’re not limited to the bedroom. To switch it up, Smith suggests attaching the bars vertically, from wrist to ankle.

 

Originally published on SheKnows.com

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Sex & Love

8 Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once

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Few things feel as decidedly human as makeup sex. For those moments when we’re simultaneously so enraged, so exhausted and so entranced that all we really know how to do is get it on. And since makeup sex is the natural progression of a vast array of conflicts, it pays to have an equally vast repertoire of makeup sex positions to turn to (positions that range from “petty disagreement makeup sex” to “full-fledged argument makeup sex”).

A good makeup sex position isn’t entirely loving. Because let’s be honest—you’re still a little mad. You need a way to express that resentment you’re undoubtedly still harboring for your partner while also demonstrating how much you love them. You love them in spite of that dumb thing they said about The Devil Wears Prada. You love them in spite of their bad opinions about which curtains look better in the room you share together. You love them in spite of their penchant for picking up after you (aw!) and storing your stuff in places you never manage to locate (eek).

Couples’ conflicts are at times, incredibly petty, and at other times, incredibly emotional. Humans are complicated creatures, and fighting is one of the most complicated things we do. The makeup sex that follows these conflicts is, often, as rife with dissonance as the conflicts themselves. But there’s something incredibly beautiful about the ways we can’t help but be so attracted to each other, even when we’re low-key pissed.

STYLECASTER | Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once

Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER

1. The Spanking

Slightly more aggressive than classic doggy-style sex, the Spanking is a great option for when you want to go hard—without making eye contact.

STYLECASTER | Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once

Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER

2. The Minor Offense

The Minor Offense is incredibly sweet and intimate—the sex equivalent of a post-argument hug. But it also accounts for the fact that a little anger might be bubbling beneath the surface, so the amount of eye contact and kissing that happens is totally up to you and your partner.

STYLECASTER | Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once

Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER

3. The Turned Tables

The Turned Tables is really just a classic with a twist—it’s missionary with you on top. If you want to assume control in a way that still feels close and kind of sweet, the Turned Tables is a great way to do it.

STYLECASTER | Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once

Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER

4. The Power Trip

Sex shouldn’t really ever be retributive (that’s a slippery slope leading to some seriously weird and harmful power dynamics), but if one partner is feeling particularly apologetic and the other is still a little angry, face-sitting oral makes a lot of sense. Standard oral (lying down, legs spread) can feel incredibly vulnerable, and if one partner is already on the defensive, anything that makes them feel more vulnerable is probably not a great move. The Power Trip allows for that person to get loving stimulation on their terms (it also allows them to avoid eye contact, kisses and other things that don’t feel quite right just yet).

STYLECASTER | Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once

Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER

5. The Olive Branch

Equal parts sweet and aggressive, the Olive Branch was practically made for makeup sex. Plus, the eye contact and kissing situation is totally within your control.

STYLECASTER | Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once

Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER

6. The Penalty Box

If you want something that feels particularly aggressive, the Penalty Box is a delightful spin on missionary that can deliver just that. Deep penetration, aggressive thrusting and angry eye contact—the Penalty Box has it all.

STYLECASTER | Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once

Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER

7. The Power Grab

The Power Grab should only be attempted in contexts where it’s absolutely consensual, as it’s definitely one of the most aggressive positions in this mix. That said, sometimes angry arguments are best resolved through (or at least followed-up by) angry sex—and again, as long as everything is consensual, there’s nothing wrong with expressing your emotions through a little submission and domination.

STYLECASTER | Makeup Sex Positions That Are Aggressive and Loving All at Once

Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER

8. In Detention

In Detention ups the ante on the Olive Branch, adding intensity through hair pulling and contact with the headboard. Instead of solely being on the receiving end of penetration, the bottom partner can push their hands agains the headboard to add some resistance to their partner’s thrusting (the sexual embodiment of a lover’s quarrel, or simply a way to render sex a little more passionate). If you want to take things to an entirely new level, you can bring handcuffs into the mix. That seems like a pretty literal take on makeup sex, but hey—if you and your partner are into it, go forth.

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Sex & Love

How to Take Belfie Pictures—Butt Selfie Photo Tips

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Move over selfies, there’s a new form of self-love in town. Belfies, otherwise known as “butt selfies,” have recently taken the world by storm, and we’re here to share with you some of the best tips on how to take a belfie so you, too, can hop aboard this 21st Century phenomenon. (Seriously, a quick scroll through Instagram will remind you everyone loves a good butt photo.) But belfies aren’t merely a thirst-trappy ploy to get a ton of likes—they’re also a way to revel in the beauty of our bodies. (OK, let’s be honest here—every time I type the word “belfie,” I truly cringe, but only because it’s an annoying word. As for taking photos of your butt, I’m all for it. In fact, taking nude photos of my body has been crucial to my eating disorder and body dysmorphia recovery over the last several years.)

The only issue with belfies is, of course, that they’re hard to take. Nailing the angle in a mirror selfie is always tough, and lighting is hard to manage there, too. Using your phone’s hands-free feature is a nice way to create a more curated composition, but because you can’t see what you’re shooting as you’re shooting it, the entire process tends to involve a lot of trial and error. I’m of the mind that our world would be better with more beautiful belfies in it; taking seriously hot shots of your tush shouldn’t be as challenging as it is. So I reached out to two New York City-based boudoir photographers—Irina Mednik of French Kiss Boudoir Photography and Evgenia Ribinik of Evgenia Ribinik Boudoir Photography—to get their tushy tips and tricks for taking the best belfie possible.

Quick note: While the photos below are only dis.ing women, I want to remind and encourage you that everyone can celebrate their booty with a belfie! This isn’t just for women—this is for all bodies.

Tip 1: Angles make all the difference.

When taking a photo of, well, anything, angles make all the difference. This is especially true when it comes to your butt. Mednik notes that while butts come in a variety of shapes and sizes, many women strive for the same ideal. “Most clients want a round, plump behind that’s perfectly situated between a thin waist and lean legs,” she explains. But instead of striving for a stretchmark- and cellulite-free backside that looks like Kim Kardashian’s, you’d be better off working with what you’ve got.

Part of the beauty of belfies—and really, any nude photos at all—is that they capture you exactly as you are. They’re honest, they’re real, they’re a little bit vulnerable—and that’s what makes them so special. (Odds are, the person on the receiving end of your belfie already knows what you look like, anyway. And if you’re taking them for yourself, you definitely do.)

So instead of forcing everybody into some pop-culturally defined ideal, Mednik looks at each client individually. “Photographing their behind really depends on their bottom,” she says. Each shoot is the unique result of what a client looks like and what they value aesthetically, so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of angles.

But one tried-and-true angle Mednik turns to again and again? Having the client lie on their belly and arch their back so their tushy can “pop out.” You can use your back and your hips to add some serious shape (read: roundness) to your booty, and it’ll make the difference between your butt and waist more defined. “It’s a great optical illusion for those who don’t have much junk in the trunk—but it also works perfectly for those who do,” she says.

Tip 2: Find some belfie inspo, and recreate your favorite poses.

Since boudoir photos tend to sit at the intersection of what a person looks like and what they want to look like, there’s a lot of variation in go-to angles and posing. For this reason, a lot of boudoir photographers ask their clients to make a moodboard of their favorite boudoir shots—that way, the photographer can get a sense of the client’s aesthetic (regarding everything from poses and angles to lighting and composition).

It might seem weird to make a Pinterest board dedicated to booty shots, but odds are, you’ve already bookmarked a few Instagrams you’re interested in recreating. So start there. What do those photos have in common? Do they skew more Kim Kardashian break-the-internet Paper cover, or more artsy and authentic? Maybe something in between? Knowing what you’re trying to do will keep your belfie process moving along smoothly. But if you’re in need of a little inspo, Mednik and Ribinik shared some of their go-to poses, below:

Stand with your legs crossed. This will emphasize the shape of your tush, giving you that hourglass look so many people are fond of.

Sitting might seem like a weird move for a belfie, but according to Mednik, it’s a great choice for people with butts on the flatter side. The trick is to sit with your body angled slightly away from the camera, creating a beautiful curve to your backside—even if that curve is practically non-existent when you’re standing. (No shame—remember, flat butts can be just as beautiful as juicy ones. Your body isn’t wrong just because it doesn’t meet our current, trendy ideal.)

Side selfies are also a great option—just make sure to vary what your legs are doing. “The booty always looks rounder if the leg facing the camera is super straight while you take a side selfie,” Ribinik advises. “Popping it while in that pose also helps!” (She specifically vouched for a lower-angle set-up in this pose. “I feel like it gives the booty such a cool, round heart shape,” she says.)

I know what you’re thinking—these poses are all good and well for boudoir photography. But how am I supposed to snap anything like this without the help of a personal butt photographer? Your phone’s self-timer is your best friend. Make a day out of it and have some fun practicing poses and angles. Just find something to prop it up against, and you’ll be in business in no time.

Tip 3: Mind your lighting.

When lighting your belfies, revisit your moodboard (or your bookmarked Instagrams, or wherever else your belfie treasure trove lies). What do the photos you’ve saved look like? Is the lighting soft and romantic? Is it harsh? Different lighting set-ups can give photos entirely different vibes, so spend some time figuring out what you want on the front-end.

If you’re not sure, Mednik and Ribinik recommend starting with soft, natural light. Harsh, bright light (the kind of thing you’d get from a flash, or from a spotlight) tends to flatten your curves, leaving them blended into the background. It also tends to cast dark shadows that accentuate cellulite and uneven skin (which we’re basically all dealing with—we’re humans, after all). Soft, natural light, on the other hand, creates a more romantic mood—and it’s easier to work with. Not only can you simply open a window (no equipment, required), but you can also be a little less precise with your angles and composition and still end up with something that looks good.

Since we don’t all have professional lighting kits at our disposal, a little planning will pay off. Mednik recommends setting an earlier alarm and snapping some belfies at sunrise, “when the light is really soft and flattering.” She recommends lying on the bed with your booty up, window behind you. Situate the phone across the room so you’re sandwiched between the window and the phone. “That’s the safest light to work with,” she says. “It’s typically amazing on everyone and can even have a moody feel to it, too.”

Tip 4: Consider your composition—and what clothes you’re wearing.

You don’t have to take a photography class to learn what the “rule of thirds” is—it’s already built into your phone camera. You know that grid that pops up when you’re posting a photo on Instagram? That’s your rule of thirds grid. Situating the focal point of an image at the intersection of two of those lines will draw the viewer’s eye into the composition, making your photo more compelling.

“If I’m getting a super close-up I usually go with the rule of thirds, but the negative space to the side does look interesting as long as there isn’t clutter,” Mednik says. “You want to make sure the background is as clean and simple as possible as to not distract your eye from the real beauty in the photo—the butt.”

As far as clothing, Mednik and Ribinik both agree: The less, the better. If you’re not completely comfortable taking a nude photo, both photographers recommend a thong or cheeky panties to emphasize the curve of your booty.

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