“Most men are not eager to seek help when it comes to matters of their man-hood,” says Morse. “Perhaps he thinks it’s too embarrassing or shameful to talk to his doctor or his partner, leaving you scrambling to find solutions.” That’s why Morse suggests taking some of the initiative in this scenario. Start . suggesting moves like girl on top, which will help you control the pace (and slow it down if he’s getting too close). Or you can pick up some condoms or analgesic sprays like Promescent to help him last longer, says Morse. It’ll show him that you support him and want to help, and it’ll take some of the burden off of him.
Teach Him a Thing or Two
You know Kegels can help you have stronger orgasms, and a new study found those exact same exercises could also help men. Seriously. So teach him how to do man-Kegels—it’s an easy, medication-free way to help him control his erection.
Suggest a Pregame
We know it sounds crazy but, before you meet up, tell your partner how hot it would be for him to self service to the thought of what you’ll be doing later on, says Emily Morse, Ph.D., host of s*x With Emily and co-founder of Emily & Tony. Why should he please himself without you? Morse explains that not only will it get him in the mood, but if he masturbates not long before he sees you, it can help him last longer when you’re together (as long as you know he’s not the kind of guy who can only go once a day). Just make sure he doesn’t have a solo session right before you get there, since he may need some time to recover for round two—a few hours should do the trick.
When you’re having s*x and want to help him last a little longer, ask him to pause. “When you stop s*x and start again, it will allow him to cool down for a few before getting going again,” explains Morse. Let him know you want to experiment with the slightest bit of kink . practicing the art of withholding. Use this time to just kiss without touching, give each other massages, or grab some fun toys to . with.
Let Him Watch You
Before having s*x, make self service part of your foreplay. “Tell him you want him to watch you touch yourself, he will love it,” Morse promises. Plus it will help you get a head start and close the climax gap so that you’re both on the same page once you’re having s*x.