Word on the street, as at yesterday, August 27, 2019, was that Burna Boy and his girlfriend, Steflon Don were no longer together, and that the relationship had crumbled because Burna cheated on the hot British artiste.
On a day when Twitter especially had a lot to chew on, and with some form of dark energy already bubbling in extra measure beneath the surface, it wasn’t long or difficult for people to turn on Burna Boy, and by extension, all other Nigerian men who, like Burna, are an unfaithful lot.
It would take Steflon Don’s stories on Instagram for things to simmer down, because, apparently, it was fake news all along! All that vitriol and bitter energy over something that was never true to begin with!
Undeniably, having inauthentic stories like that filtering to the public was always going to generate an outcry and rage was going to be kindled. You couldn’t have expected Burna Boy cheating on Steflon Don to not evoke the kind of buzz we got yesterday over the issue. That’s pretty normal.
However, it was the way the issue snowballed, and what it snowballed into that feels a little bothersome. The gist had people baring their fangs, calling out Burna; they dragged Princess Shyngle whom he allegedly cheated with, clowned Steflon Don for even daring to believe that her relationship with the African Giant was worth anything, and sure enough, the narrative ballooned into the crucifixion of the male gender and allowed for several other [now-deleted] expressions of bitterness – “I already knew this wasn’t going to last.”
That people actually seemed delighted that Burna cheated on his girlfriend just because it validates the opinion that Nigerian men are trash shows just how badly misery loves company and how much people like to project their fears and failures on others.
Yeah, men cheat and the experiences that women keep sharing regularly cannot be brushed aside. Men really do treat women badly in relationships and heartbreaks happen by the dozen and in some of the cruelest ways imaginable.
This, however, does not belie the possibility that women are just as bad and that the narrative remains in their favour only because men are said to prefer sucking things up rather than publicizing their L’s for public consumption.
But hey, a difference in the scum quotient of the genders is not really what this piece wants to spend its time dwelling on.
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That said, and back to people who make it their life duty to use stories like Burna’s rumoured cheating to further amplify the narrative against dating [Nigerian] men.
Few questions; should people then avoid relationships altogether because some people had it bad? Does it make sense to wish gloom on everyone in love just because yours didn’t go as planned? Aren’t there people enjoying peaceful, happy relationships devoid of sadness and bitterness? Would it ever be OK to project negative energy on people who are enjoying happiness in their love stories?
Surely, the answer to all of these has to be negative.
If there’s anything this Burna situation has further driven into my consciousness, it is to take what I see online – advice and random opinions alike – with a pinch of salt.
The reality of a person would usually limit their outlook to life situations. And, as yesterday and earlier parts of today has shown, it is not uncommon for people to project on to others, their own limitations and bias.
If you are happy in a relationship, stay in it. Stay happy for as long as you can – and that could be forever… with the same person.
Yes, there’s also the chance that it may not last forever but would you rather give up the happiness you’re feeling right now for a doom predicted by someone who does not know the inner working of your relationship with the person you call the love of your life?
Even if it someone close enough to know, the decision is still yours to take or wave away advice and opinions of outsiders.
And at all times, you should trust yourself more than these unsolicited words from outside.