Okay, so you’re pretty much dating two guys at the moment. Go you! Girl Power and all that. High five. You’re a dating superstar.
But as you full well know, there now comes a time where you have to choose between the two guys. You can’t go on dating them both forever, before marrying them both, having kids with them both, taking vacations with them both et cetera. Rather, you need to decide who you see yourself being with in the long-term and who you do not.
Naturally, this is not easy. They’ve both got their undeniable qualities. Perhaps one has a great personality while the other looks exactly like a young Johnny Depp. It’s a confusing time for you right now, and you’re also probably a little bit afraid of upsetting one of them. But when these things go on for too long, everyone gets even more upset.
So if you’re looking to nip this in the bud now and make a decision, here are some top tips to help you choose between two guys.
Write Down Each Guys’ Qualities
Maybe you’ve only thought briefly about each of their qualities, but now it’s time to have a serious think about it.
To find out more about the men in your life, it’s best if you write down a list of their qualities. As you write, more ideas will come out of your head and make you think: “Oh yeah! I forgot how awesome he was!”
Think about qualities like compassion and respect, as well as their skills and ambitions.
Consider How Compatible You Are With Either Guy
Looking like Johnny Depp is all well and good, but how compatible are you guys? Do you both have similar lifestyle choices and personalities? Do you have the same thoughts about money? If one of you is a saver and the other is a spender, this probably won’t work out.
You should also consider whether you want children and whether they do, too. Would they be supportive of your dreams, or are they a realist who want you both to work steady, 9-5 jobs because “there are bills to pay!”
Think About The Deal-Breakers
Every relationship has a deal breaker. For example, I once had to end a relationship with a guy because he wouldn’t give up smoking. When we first started dating, he kept repeating that he was giving up at the end of the month. But he never did, and so we had to end it because I knew that I couldn’t be in a long-term relationship with a smoker.
Have a think about both guys and consider whether any of them have potential sticking points that would cause you to end a relationship later on down the line. Maybe one of them has hinted that he’s the possessive type, or maybe you’ve seen random bursts of anger. Whatever their unattractive qualities are, write them down.
Does One Of Them Give You Butterflies
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Ask yourself how you feel when you get a text. Do you wish it was from John or from David? If you’re hoping that you’ve got a text from one of the guys more than the other, it’s a surefire sign that you’ve got a favourite.
Naturally, this alone should not sway your decision. It could be that you’ve just been having a really fun conversation with John recently and want to know his answer to something you’ve asked him. But if you constantly find yourself hoping John rather than David has texted, you should trust your gut on this one.
Can They Handle Real Life
The first few dates are really fun because there aren’t many hold-ups or things to get serious about. For example, he doesn’t have to be there with you during the ups and downs – he’s just gotta make sure he’s at the restaurant on time for some lobster.
But now that you’re making the decision regarding who to spend the long-term with, you need to consider more than just their punctuality. You need to question how each of them will handle tougher situations, such as debt, unexpected challenges, bad days, as well as sickness. Will they be there with you during the rough times as well as the good times?
How Faithful Do You Feel?
Dating two guys at the same time is slightly naughty, but there is nothing immoral about it at all. It’s very possible that each of the two guys also has another woman in their life because everyone is just testing the waters at this point to see who’s right for them.
But if you feel genuinely bad for seeing one of the other guys, it might be your unconscious mind trying to tell you that you’ve got stronger feelings for one more than the other. If so, your decision has pretty much been made for you.
Think About Your Future
Picture your future. What does it look like? Where are you in five years from now? What kind of career do you have? Do you have kids, a mortgage, a car?
Now try and imagine which guy fits in with your plans best. Who is going to slot seamlessly into these plans, and who is going to destruct it with payday loans, credit card debts, soccer games, and having you move in with his mom? Your future needs to be stable and secure, so pick the guy who offers this kind of stability.
Listen To Your Heart
Lastly, which guy makes your heart flutter? Which of them do you know, deep down, is the one for you? Who do you get nervous most about going on a date with? Who gives you the best feeling when you’re together?
These are all important questions to ask. Stability is one thing, but a guy also needs to make you feel special – otherwise, there is just no spark and no romance. A guy needs to make you feel good inside. If it feels right, it probably is. Trust your instinct.