Healthy relationship: S/he apologizes when wrong
Toxic relationship: S/he is never, ever wrong.
Look, we all screw up in our relationships at one point or another. Nobody’s perfect. But a healthy relationship is one in which both of you can make a mistake, realise you’ve made a mistake and then apologise for making the mistake. You know being in the wrong doesn’t make you ‘the loser’ – you’re just happy when an argument is resolved and you can go back to being happy together.
If you’re in a toxic relationship, it’s a little different: your guy refuses to admit to being wrong. You’re always the one to blame, and he’s a pro at convincing you that you are the problem. That’s emotional abuse – and that’s as toxic as it gets.
Healthy relationship: S/he teaches you
Toxic relationship: S/he lectures you.
The best kind of relationship is one where both partners learn from each other – where you aren’t . any means the same person, but you can teach each other different ways of looking at the world. If you’re learning nothing from your partner, you may as well not be in a relationship with him at all.
In a toxic relationship, it’s less learning and more lecturing. He believes that his way is the right way – always. And, if you disagree, he’ll fight his case until you’re too tired to argue any more. He’ll never bother trying to see things through your eyes. If you aren’t on the same page as he is, you’re in the wrong – it’s as simple as that.
Healthy relationship: S/he earns your trust
Toxic relationship: S/he expects it.
When you’re in a healthy relationship you totally trust your partner – and he’s done nothing to break it. He’s always been honest with you, and you’ve extended him that same courtesy, because both of you know how important trust is. You’ll always tell the truth, even when it’s hard.
In a toxic relationship? He thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants and you’ll be content to believe he’s not up to anything questionable. He uses the term ‘trust’ as a weapon against you, constantly accusing you of having none whenever he feels challenged.
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