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Hausa weddings: All you need to know about this traditional nuptial

It is only after the religious ceremony [Nikkhai] that every traditional wedding rite can take place.

As evidenced by the recent wedding of , the culturally rich events of a traditional Hausa wedding tend to last about a week, starting with a wedding Fatiha and ending with the main wedding reception.

1. Kayan Zance

This is the list of items the groom’s family provides as soon as the bride’s family accepts their wedding proposal.

The list of items includes but is not limited to cookware, furniture, fabrics beauty products, shoes, underwear, cash (Kudin Gaisuwa)

If the groom’s family is rich enough, they may be asked to provide a house for the couple while the bride’s family has full responsibility of furnishing the house, especially her room, living room and the kitchen. All these are done before the wedding proper

2. Wedding Fatiha [Daurin Aure]

The Fatiha is the most significant event of the entire wedding ceremony.

As opposed to what obtains in many other cultures, in the Hausa culture it is a representative from the groom and bride’s family usually does exchange of vows and not the bride and groom.

They do this in the presence of a religious priest and wedding guests. Prayers are then offered to the newly wedded couple and celebration continues.

3. Wuni [Sa lalle]

The event is strictly for the ladies. This is when the bride gets to spend the last bit of free time with her friends and female members of her family, in her father’s house.

A mixture of henna is made and used to make beautifully designs on the bride’s hands, palms and legs. Her friends and family also get henna designs on their hands but not as elaborate as the bride.

ALSO READ:Most beautiful things about Muslim weddings

4. Kamun Amariya

Kamu means catch the brides and it is one of the oldest and most interesting events in the Hausa wedding tradition.

To get the bride, the groom’s family negotiates with the bride’s friends for her release her to them.

This is a really fun event and negotiation may take up to 30 minutes followed by a fun reception.

5. Sayan Baki

In some parts of the north, this ceremony takes place to add more colour and glamour to the wedding ceremony.

The Sayan Baki is a negotiation between the groom’s men and the bridesmaids, debating on the amount to be paid before the bride is allowed to speak to her groom.

6. Kai Amariya

This is when family and friends escort the bride to her matrimonial home to be well received by the groom’s family.

This is usually preceded by prayers and advises from her family. This is not the end of events in the Hausa cultural marriage.

Depending on how well to do the families are, there is usually a grand reception to end the entire wedding ceremony. This includes, food, music and entertainment.

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Relationship Tips

Here is an explanation for why communication dies slowly between a couple

Stonewalling in a relationship is what happens when one [or both] partners consciously and intentionally refuse to allow communication flow especially when there is something that really needs to be talked about.

Obviously, even when there aren’t issue or problems to deal with, the communication line between partners is meant to stay on at all times. Being able to talk to a partner; being able to express one’s deepest fears and even dumbest thoughts is one great thing about having a partner.


This is what stonewalling looks like – a partner trying to make things good, another refusing to listen.

But all that is put on hold with stonewalling.

Stonewalling is actually a form of communication deficiency, and differs greatly from the occasional timeout to calm down or collect your thoughts, which partners normally have every now and then.

It is an absolute refusal to consider your partner’s perspective. If you listen at all, you do it dismissively or contemptuously. It is a failure to practice the kind of communication skill required to keep your relationship going; and men have been accused of being main culprits of this.

According the result of a research carried out by Prof. John M. Gottman, a world-renowned psychologist, stonewalling “ is far more likely to be a male thing.”

“When women stonewall, it’s typically a function of temperament – they’re , inhibited, or . More commonly, it’s a learned behavior – engaging in conflict or emotion-laden conversation has exposed them to put-downs or abuse in the past.”

ALSO READ: 5 reassurances your girlfriend needs to hear regularly

And more interestingly, men do not even know when they do this. When their partners try to initiate conversations about certain important issues that affect them, they run or continuously push such discussions of dismiss them altogether.


Men are more guilty of stonewalling than women could ever be [Credit – LifeStyle.ng]

One of the signs that a man could be stonewalling is if he believes his partner nags him.

Women don’t necessarily nag all the time. When a partner keeps repeating something, it’s because she’s not being heard. A nagging partner is usually an unheard partner.

Whether it is practiced by a man or woman, stonewalling hurts your partner, and causes feelings of isolation, frustration, anger and could make them think that you don’t care about them or their opinions.’

There is only one solution to this malaise; intentional, effective communication.

Whether you have a spouse, bae, boo or you’re about to get one of these, stonewalling has no place in your relationship because great relationships thrive on communication not on negative actions as this.

Continue Reading

Relationship Tips

Here is an explanation for why communication dies slowly between a couple

Stonewalling in a relationship is what happens when one [or both] partners consciously and intentionally refuse to allow communication flow especially when there is something that really needs to be talked about.

Obviously, even when there aren’t issue or problems to deal with, the communication line between partners is meant to stay on at all times. Being able to talk to a partner; being able to express one’s deepest fears and even dumbest thoughts is one great thing about having a partner.


This is what stonewalling looks like – a partner trying to make things good, another refusing to listen.

But all that is put on hold with stonewalling.

Stonewalling is actually a form of communication deficiency, and differs greatly from the occasional timeout to calm down or collect your thoughts, which partners normally have every now and then.

It is an absolute refusal to consider your partner’s perspective. If you listen at all, you do it dismissively or contemptuously. It is a failure to practice the kind of communication skill required to keep your relationship going; and men have been accused of being main culprits of this.

According the result of a research carried out by Prof. John M. Gottman, a world-renowned psychologist, stonewalling “ is far more likely to be a male thing.”

“When women stonewall, it’s typically a function of temperament – they’re , inhibited, or . More commonly, it’s a learned behavior – engaging in conflict or emotion-laden conversation has exposed them to put-downs or abuse in the past.”

ALSO READ: 5 reassurances your girlfriend needs to hear regularly

And more interestingly, men do not even know when they do this. When their partners try to initiate conversations about certain important issues that affect them, they run or continuously push such discussions of dismiss them altogether.


Men are more guilty of stonewalling than women could ever be [Credit – LifeStyle.ng]

One of the signs that a man could be stonewalling is if he believes his partner nags him.

Women don’t necessarily nag all the time. When a partner keeps repeating something, it’s because she’s not being heard. A nagging partner is usually an unheard partner.

Whether it is practiced by a man or woman, stonewalling hurts your partner, and causes feelings of isolation, frustration, anger and could make them think that you don’t care about them or their opinions.’

There is only one solution to this malaise; intentional, effective communication.

Whether you have a spouse, bae, boo or you’re about to get one of these, stonewalling has no place in your relationship because great relationships thrive on communication not on negative actions as this.

Continue Reading

Relationship Tips

Here is an explanation for why communication dies slowly between a couple

Stonewalling in a relationship is what happens when one [or both] partners consciously and intentionally refuse to allow communication flow especially when there is something that really needs to be talked about.

Obviously, even when there aren’t issue or problems to deal with, the communication line between partners is meant to stay on at all times. Being able to talk to a partner; being able to express one’s deepest fears and even dumbest thoughts is one great thing about having a partner.


This is what stonewalling looks like – a partner trying to make things good, another refusing to listen.

But all that is put on hold with stonewalling.

Stonewalling is actually a form of communication deficiency, and differs greatly from the occasional timeout to calm down or collect your thoughts, which partners normally have every now and then.

It is an absolute refusal to consider your partner’s perspective. If you listen at all, you do it dismissively or contemptuously. It is a failure to practice the kind of communication skill required to keep your relationship going; and men have been accused of being main culprits of this.

According the result of a research carried out by Prof. John M. Gottman, a world-renowned psychologist, stonewalling “ is far more likely to be a male thing.”

“When women stonewall, it’s typically a function of temperament – they’re , inhibited, or . More commonly, it’s a learned behavior – engaging in conflict or emotion-laden conversation has exposed them to put-downs or abuse in the past.”

ALSO READ: 5 reassurances your girlfriend needs to hear regularly

And more interestingly, men do not even know when they do this. When their partners try to initiate conversations about certain important issues that affect them, they run or continuously push such discussions of dismiss them altogether.


Men are more guilty of stonewalling than women could ever be [Credit – LifeStyle.ng]

One of the signs that a man could be stonewalling is if he believes his partner nags him.

Women don’t necessarily nag all the time. When a partner keeps repeating something, it’s because she’s not being heard. A nagging partner is usually an unheard partner.

Whether it is practiced by a man or woman, stonewalling hurts your partner, and causes feelings of isolation, frustration, anger and could make them think that you don’t care about them or their opinions.’

There is only one solution to this malaise; intentional, effective communication.

Whether you have a spouse, bae, boo or you’re about to get one of these, stonewalling has no place in your relationship because great relationships thrive on communication not on negative actions as this.

Continue Reading
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