Relationship success really comes down to one key thing. Your ability to recognize, appreciate and meet the needs of your partner. That takes effort from both parties. The more men can connect to, and accept and communicate their needs to their partner, the more deeply connected couples will become.
Men need time on their own to process information and feelings. When women provide this space, it allows the man to step forward. Women naturally want to decrease space to create connection, which often makes men feel suffocated and overwhelmed. It is important for men to communicate that by having this space it makes them a better partner.
Although men have been programmed to show up strong and be providers, they are still human and at their core have a need for affection. It’s not natural for boys to go from being cared for by their mothers to not needing any affection at all.
Let her know you like to be touched, kissed, or that when she rubs your shoulders after a rough day, you feel loved. Under that confident, strong, and manly exterior is still the heart of a boy that needs to feel loved – and that is a really good thing!
Men work hard. The desire to excel and contribute is a natural part of their DNA. In order to achieve a sustainable loving relationship bond with a woman, it is critical that she respects him. Clearly, demanding respect is never an effective way to get it; however, acting with integrity, sharing values, building trust, and demonstrating respect for her is a great way to garner respect.
Men are different than women. Period. I think we all know that by now. But do we really get that? Women complain about how much men work but fail to understand that often a man is fulfilling his life’s purpose through his work or providing for his family, which is often his way of showing love. It is easier for women to understand this need when you can communicate how important your work is, not only to you as a confident, contributing member of society, but as a part of the partnership and the future you are building together. If she understands the meaning of your work, she will naturally be more understanding.
5. Connection with their kids
Women have traditionally been the primary caregiver of children and for the most part still carry a lot of the weight when caring for children. However, what often happens is women brush off men’s attempts to help because they feel they can do it better.
Don’t allow her to ‘sit you on the bench” when it comes to the kids. Let her know she deserves some time alone or time with her friends because she works so hard, and create a space for you to connect with the kids.
6. To add value
Men by nature are problem solvers. Women just like to share, to talk things through and to feel heard. If you can shift your understanding to know that by simply being present and actively listening to your partner, you are adding value, then you will be miles ahead of most. Value does not always come in the form of action or solution.
After you have listened and heard you can say, “Babe, that is really frustrating. I thought of something that might help you. Are you interested or do you just need an ear right now?” Now that is adding golden value!
You have a lot of power to create freedom and happiness in your relationship. They key is understand that having needs does not make you needy, they make you human. The most effective way to relationship success is for you to start sharing them with your partner.