As women, we tend to be verbose. I know I love to talk. Unfortunately, with the advent of smartphones and text messaging, this gives men a chance to communicate with brevity. This can be frustrating to women like myself who love communication and connection. I’m going to teach you a trick that I learned from my girl Allie.
I used to communicate in huge blocks of text. I wanted the guy on the other end to hear my life anecdote. My daily adventures surely must be fascinating to everyone. No, they are not as fascinating in text as they are in person. I am an animated storyteller and people love to hear me speak. They do not (so much) like to read paragraphs about my life via a text message.
So here’s what I began to do. I have a lot of guy friends in my life and they like to communicate with brevity. So I started to mirror their communication style.
It’s so simple, yet brilliant. Here’s an example:
Guy friend texts: What’s up?
Now he’s thinking “what is she doing? what is this chick thinking?”
It keeps him on his toes. The onus is on him to think of a conversation starter. Keep your texts brief (like a dude) and you will win every f**king time. They will not know what hit them. The guy on the other end will have to figure out what to say next and you don’t have to do shit.
It’s genius. I swear, I have been living life under the impression that I had to provide details about my life to people all the time when it’s not necessary.
Here’s another example:
Guy friend texts: how’s your day going?
He’s now got to think of what to say next. I can sit back and let him do the over analyzing. Let’s turn the tables back on him for a moment. I don’t need to be verbose and provide details about unnecessary things. Now, he has to figure out how to capture my attention.
You may be wondering, what do I gain by texting with brevity? It allows the person (man) on the other end the opportunity to examine his inner monologue. I don’t have to be the initiating conversation or digging deeply to try to find out information. By texting one to two word responses it puts the charge on the man in question to come up with witty banter to engage me.
As an alpha female personality, this is liberating to me.
Ladies, stop trying so hard and reserve your words for “real life” when you actually go on a date with someone. You don’t need to give out your inner monologue over Verizon.
This article was originally published at The Good Men Project.