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How To Make Your Marriage Stronger In 3 Steps

When planning a wedding, you have to look past that big day to what you want your actual marriage to be. The actions you take before the wedding are almost as important as what you do after to keep the marriage strong.

To get you started on the right foot, here is how to make your marriage stronger before you say your I-dos.

Bring money matters out in the open

One of the biggest causes of disagreements in a marriage and even divorce has to do with money. So you absolutely need to have that talk before taking the plunge. If you want to make your marriage stronger, ensure each of you open up about your earnings, debts, financial plans etc. Understand each other’s approach to money. Will you be combining your earnings after marriage? Will you have a single-income household? Don’t just assume. Have that conversation.

wedding rehearsals

(Photo: Instagram/Blackbride1988)

Go for marriage counseling

We get it, you both are giddy with love, there can’t be any problems, right? Wrong. You do not have to wait for problems before seeking counseling. When you talk with a professional, you get to learn more about yourself and your partner. You get to dive even deeper into what makes him who he is and how he responds to certain situations. He also gets to see this side of you as well. This way, you enter the union armed with all the info you’ll need to make each other happy.

Live together / or have an experience living on your own

While this may go against many religious and traditional beliefs, there are certain benefits to living with your partner before marriage. Even if it’s spending a couple of weekends here and there together. You cannot really know someone until you live with them. So why not do it before making that massive commitment.

4 Reasons Why You Should Wait Until Marriage To Have Sex Zumi.ng

(Photo: BellaNaija)

Another thing that can help is if each of you has had experience living on your own. Going from your parents’ house where they take care of everything (bills, maintenance, upkeep etc) to your marital home where you’re now the one in charge can be a huge leap. You will find yourself spending the first of your marital years trying to figure so many things out instead of just enjoying each other. A smoother transition will happen if you have some experience doing things on your own. This will surely make your marriage stronger.

To keep from making a decision you’ll regret, here’s one big sign your marriage will not work out.

What are the other things you must do to make your marriage stronger? Share in the comments below.

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Relationship Tips

Here is an explanation for why communication dies slowly between a couple

Stonewalling in a relationship is what happens when one [or both] partners consciously and intentionally refuse to allow communication flow especially when there is something that really needs to be talked about.

Obviously, even when there aren’t issue or problems to deal with, the communication line between partners is meant to stay on at all times. Being able to talk to a partner; being able to express one’s deepest fears and even dumbest thoughts is one great thing about having a partner.


This is what stonewalling looks like – a partner trying to make things good, another refusing to listen.

But all that is put on hold with stonewalling.

Stonewalling is actually a form of communication deficiency, and differs greatly from the occasional timeout to calm down or collect your thoughts, which partners normally have every now and then.

It is an absolute refusal to consider your partner’s perspective. If you listen at all, you do it dismissively or contemptuously. It is a failure to practice the kind of communication skill required to keep your relationship going; and men have been accused of being main culprits of this.

According the result of a research carried out by Prof. John M. Gottman, a world-renowned psychologist, stonewalling “ is far more likely to be a male thing.”

“When women stonewall, it’s typically a function of temperament – they’re , inhibited, or . More commonly, it’s a learned behavior – engaging in conflict or emotion-laden conversation has exposed them to put-downs or abuse in the past.”

ALSO READ: 5 reassurances your girlfriend needs to hear regularly

And more interestingly, men do not even know when they do this. When their partners try to initiate conversations about certain important issues that affect them, they run or continuously push such discussions of dismiss them altogether.


Men are more guilty of stonewalling than women could ever be [Credit – LifeStyle.ng]

One of the signs that a man could be stonewalling is if he believes his partner nags him.

Women don’t necessarily nag all the time. When a partner keeps repeating something, it’s because she’s not being heard. A nagging partner is usually an unheard partner.

Whether it is practiced by a man or woman, stonewalling hurts your partner, and causes feelings of isolation, frustration, anger and could make them think that you don’t care about them or their opinions.’

There is only one solution to this malaise; intentional, effective communication.

Whether you have a spouse, bae, boo or you’re about to get one of these, stonewalling has no place in your relationship because great relationships thrive on communication not on negative actions as this.

Continue Reading

Relationship Tips

Here is an explanation for why communication dies slowly between a couple

Stonewalling in a relationship is what happens when one [or both] partners consciously and intentionally refuse to allow communication flow especially when there is something that really needs to be talked about.

Obviously, even when there aren’t issue or problems to deal with, the communication line between partners is meant to stay on at all times. Being able to talk to a partner; being able to express one’s deepest fears and even dumbest thoughts is one great thing about having a partner.


This is what stonewalling looks like – a partner trying to make things good, another refusing to listen.

But all that is put on hold with stonewalling.

Stonewalling is actually a form of communication deficiency, and differs greatly from the occasional timeout to calm down or collect your thoughts, which partners normally have every now and then.

It is an absolute refusal to consider your partner’s perspective. If you listen at all, you do it dismissively or contemptuously. It is a failure to practice the kind of communication skill required to keep your relationship going; and men have been accused of being main culprits of this.

According the result of a research carried out by Prof. John M. Gottman, a world-renowned psychologist, stonewalling “ is far more likely to be a male thing.”

“When women stonewall, it’s typically a function of temperament – they’re , inhibited, or . More commonly, it’s a learned behavior – engaging in conflict or emotion-laden conversation has exposed them to put-downs or abuse in the past.”

ALSO READ: 5 reassurances your girlfriend needs to hear regularly

And more interestingly, men do not even know when they do this. When their partners try to initiate conversations about certain important issues that affect them, they run or continuously push such discussions of dismiss them altogether.


Men are more guilty of stonewalling than women could ever be [Credit – LifeStyle.ng]

One of the signs that a man could be stonewalling is if he believes his partner nags him.

Women don’t necessarily nag all the time. When a partner keeps repeating something, it’s because she’s not being heard. A nagging partner is usually an unheard partner.

Whether it is practiced by a man or woman, stonewalling hurts your partner, and causes feelings of isolation, frustration, anger and could make them think that you don’t care about them or their opinions.’

There is only one solution to this malaise; intentional, effective communication.

Whether you have a spouse, bae, boo or you’re about to get one of these, stonewalling has no place in your relationship because great relationships thrive on communication not on negative actions as this.

Continue Reading

Relationship Tips

Here is an explanation for why communication dies slowly between a couple

Stonewalling in a relationship is what happens when one [or both] partners consciously and intentionally refuse to allow communication flow especially when there is something that really needs to be talked about.

Obviously, even when there aren’t issue or problems to deal with, the communication line between partners is meant to stay on at all times. Being able to talk to a partner; being able to express one’s deepest fears and even dumbest thoughts is one great thing about having a partner.


This is what stonewalling looks like – a partner trying to make things good, another refusing to listen.

But all that is put on hold with stonewalling.

Stonewalling is actually a form of communication deficiency, and differs greatly from the occasional timeout to calm down or collect your thoughts, which partners normally have every now and then.

It is an absolute refusal to consider your partner’s perspective. If you listen at all, you do it dismissively or contemptuously. It is a failure to practice the kind of communication skill required to keep your relationship going; and men have been accused of being main culprits of this.

According the result of a research carried out by Prof. John M. Gottman, a world-renowned psychologist, stonewalling “ is far more likely to be a male thing.”

“When women stonewall, it’s typically a function of temperament – they’re , inhibited, or . More commonly, it’s a learned behavior – engaging in conflict or emotion-laden conversation has exposed them to put-downs or abuse in the past.”

ALSO READ: 5 reassurances your girlfriend needs to hear regularly

And more interestingly, men do not even know when they do this. When their partners try to initiate conversations about certain important issues that affect them, they run or continuously push such discussions of dismiss them altogether.


Men are more guilty of stonewalling than women could ever be [Credit – LifeStyle.ng]

One of the signs that a man could be stonewalling is if he believes his partner nags him.

Women don’t necessarily nag all the time. When a partner keeps repeating something, it’s because she’s not being heard. A nagging partner is usually an unheard partner.

Whether it is practiced by a man or woman, stonewalling hurts your partner, and causes feelings of isolation, frustration, anger and could make them think that you don’t care about them or their opinions.’

There is only one solution to this malaise; intentional, effective communication.

Whether you have a spouse, bae, boo or you’re about to get one of these, stonewalling has no place in your relationship because great relationships thrive on communication not on negative actions as this.

Continue Reading
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