Marriage is about supporting your spouse — for better or for worse. There are going to be those days that are definitely worse than others. Because marriage doesn’t come with an instruction book, a husband can often be left in the dark when it comes to knowing how to comfort his wife on the days she is grumpy.
As a wife of nearly 15 years, I have had plenty grumpy days, and although I may not speak for every woman, I think I have a fair idea of what a woman needs when she’s not having a spectacular day. Here are the top five things you can do to help your wife’s day go better.
1. Hug her
The power of touch is vital to any healthy marriage. When someone you love gives you a hug, oxytocin hormone is released, helping to relieve stress and anxiety levels. This means that when you are holding your wife close, you are actually providing her with the physical remedy she needs to feel better. In addition to this, you are showing your love for her without saying anything at all. Chances are, she will greatly appreciate your silent service and your ability to ease her burden by giving her exactly what she needs.
2. Listen to her
The key word in this action is listen, not fix. Most often, a woman is capable of fixing her own problems. She just needs someone to talk things through with. A woman doesn’t need a man galloping in on a white horse to rescue her from her difficulties, she just needs someone to listen and acknowledge why she’s grumpy and why her day was so hard.
3. Compliment her
If your wife is having a tough day, one of the best things you can do is help her see the good in herself. If you don’t know a lot about women, let me share a secret with you. We are harder on ourselves than anyone else. When we are having bad days, we are most likely beating ourselves up inside, focusing on the things we didn’t do, the things we can’t do and the things we failed at. We are comparing ourselves to women whom we believe are goddesses in both beauty and skill, and it is a cycle that we have a hard time breaking, especially when we’re in a funk. The best thing you can do is help your wife see her strengths, focus on her beauty and accentuate the good.
4. Love her
When your wife is grumpy, it is easy to get upset with her. Please don’t. Show your love for her instead. Be kind and patient with her. Try to be understanding, and give her time. Serve her by helping around the house. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her feel better. Maybe suggest taking a walk together, allowing her to release some tension and breathe in some fresh air. Get her favorite treat and offer to watch her favorite movie. Do all you can to show her that you love her no matter what and that you are there for her as a trusted companion. You are not fixing her problem, just helping her cope with the emotions that come from it.
5. Give her a break
Sometimes, when a wife is grumpy, the best remedy may be a little time for herself. If you know your wife had a tough day with the kids, offer to bring home some pizzas for dinner so she doesn’t have to cook. Give her some time to relax in a bubble bath or some quiet time reading her favorite book. Take the kids on an outing and let her have the house to herself. Create an environment where she can unwind and find peace from her troubles. The more you help to create a place of love and peace, the more likely your wife will be able to let go of her grumpiness.
Your wife’s happiness is not dependent on you. Women are responsible for their own happiness. But when your wife is grumpy, you can help create an environment that will help her to find her happiness and overcome her grumpy disposition. An atmosphere of love and respect will do so much more for your wife than adding to her frustration with a negative reaction to her mood. You may not be able to change your wife’s mood, but you can choose how to react to it, and by choosing to act in a positive way, you will have a positive influence on her heart.