I am a 35-year-old woman and I’ve been married for five years. Our first child is four years old and my husband says he does not want us to have any more. Whenever I talk about it, he says we have plans to move abroad and that having another child now will only be added stress.
I feel like I’m not getting any younger and the plans to leave the country are not solid yet so I don’t know when it will happen. And I want more kids as soon as possible. Sometimes, I’m tempted to somehow manipulate him into getting me pregnant but I don’t want a situation where he will end up hating me or the child. How can I convince him that we should have another baby?
This is a very dicey issue because there is no straightforward answer. First off, please do not manipulate your husband into getting you pregnant. It’s very selfish and unfair to him and to the child you’ll bring into the world.
Your only option here is to see if there’s any sort of compromise to be made in this situation. And perhaps get to the bottom of the real issue. One more kid would change the family dynamic, sure, but it shouldn’t mess up your travel plans.
Try talking to your husband to see if you can find out why he’s hesitant to have more kids. Then also communicate your own reason for wanting more children. If you both have a heart-to-heart on the matter, you just may arrive at a solution that works for the both of you.
If he’s worried about finances, for instance, you may have a counter-suggestion that can put him at ease. Or he may reveal something that helps you see where he’s coming from. There’s also the possibility that hearing how much it means to you to have another child may help him come on board and see the positives.
Just remember, you will probably not solve all of this one day. So have discussions and give each other time to wrap your minds around your options. Good luck.
What do you think she should do in this situation? Please share your thoughts in the comment section. Also, read Jay’s advice to a woman who cheated on her fiance.
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