Love is such a crazy, emotional thing; and when you’re in love with a man who has made a life commitment to another woman, things only become more complicated. These 12 tips will help you learn to deal with your love- and get over your love for him for good.
1. Realize He Probably ISN’T Going to Leave His Wife
This man chose this woman, not to be his girlfriend, not to be his fiance, but to be his wife. He has made a life commitment to her. The truth of the matter is, if he was unhappy as he tells you, he would have no problem filing for a divorce and moving on to something real and serious with you.
2. (And Don’t Wait Around if He’s Lying About That)
Ladies, he is going to tell you every lie in the book to get you to stay. He’s having FUN with you- why wouldn’t he want to keep you around? He’ll probably tell you he’s staying in the marriage for the kids or divorce is too expensive at the moment. Don’t wait around- have enough respect for yourself to realize the lies and move on.
3. Don’t Trust Him
Let me make this clear: he is CHEATING on his WIFE. With you. If he has no problem lying to his wife, then he probably won’t have an issue lying to you as well. This cheating man is not to be trusted- his entire life is a lie.
4. Think About His Wife (And Kids)
I know, I know. You love him and the last thing you want to think about is his wife (and kids if he has them). But just take a second to think about how they would feel if they knew the husband/father was messing around. They would be heartbroken. Would you want your husband to do that to YOU?
5. Know You Will Always Be a Secret
He can’t tell a single sole about you. Not his mom, not his brother, not even his best friend. You are the secret girl in the relationship, which means you aren’t being given the respect you deserve. Even though he may shower you with gifts and affection, you will always be hidden away in the shadows. What kind of relationship can flourish that way?
6. Think About Your Happiness and Well-Being
Knowing you are the ‘side chick’ that will always be hidden in the closet shouldn’t make you feel happy or good about yourself. You deserve someone who is willing to share his love for you with the world. Someone who is proud of you and actually wants a real relationship that could possibly turn into marriage and a family one day. Think about your happiness and well-being with this man- it can’t be everything you’ve ever dreamed of!
7. Respect Yourself Enough to Leave
Whether you want to admit it, this all comes down to a matter of respect. If you respected yourself, you would NOT want to be the side girlfriend. You would NOT want to be kept a secret. You would NOT allow this man to lie to you and keep you around just for the fun of it. Know your worth and know you deserve better than what this married man is giving you.
8. Quit Talking to Him
When you realize you’re better than this awful and heart-wrenching situation, you need to break off any and all communication. That means no more calls, no more texts, not even an email here and there. Block his number and be done with it. You don’t have time for his lies and he will only try to manipulate you back into becoming his side girl.
9. Take Time for Yourself
Just like any other relationship breakup, you need to take some time to yourself. You were in love with this man and jumping into another relationship right away would be a very bad idea. Take some time to work on yourself, whether that means taking up extra hours at work, learning a new skill like cooking or a language, or upping your exercise routine. Do things that make YOU happy so you can gain your confidence and joy back.
10. Talk to a Friend
Let’s face it: if you start talking to someone you don’t know very well about an affair with a married man, they are likely to judge you. That’s just the way society is! That being said, find someone you trust one hundred percent; someone that won’t judge you for any of the silly things you do. Talking through your feelings and everything that has happened will undoubtedly help you feel LOADS better.
11. Grieve Your Loss
Yes, he was married and had a wife (and possibly children). But in one way or another the two of you had a relationship. He was your ‘partner’, your ‘boyfriend’- even if it was a secret and even if it was wrong. When you decide to leave him, you’re still going to grieve the loss of love. Don’t try to diminish your feelings because it was an affair. You’re still going to be very heartbroken and feel sad about the entire situation. You are going to miss him and want him back. But stay strong and grieve your loss. You will move on from this and become a stronger lady!
12. Don’t Make the Same Mistake
Don’t be a notorious home-wrecker. You made a MISTAKE seeing and falling in love with a married man. Don’t do it again. You know the outcome! He won’t leave his wife and you’ll spend way too much time on someone that doesn’t take you serious, and probably never will. Instead, find a single man you connect with, someone you can build a solid future with. It may seem fun and risky to be with a married man, but just remember everything you’re ruining and all the time you’re wasting being with him.
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