If you love someone, you don’t cheat on them. End of story.
Call me crazy, but I think there’s a lot of components in love. If you genuinely love someone, you respect them, for starters. You also emotionally support them, give them a high-five when they do something great, care for them when they’re sick in bed with the flu, stand by them when things get scary, hold their hand when they need you, and look toward to the future together as a partnership. That’s what love is.
So when you cheat on your spouse, you’re cheating on all of that. You’re betraying every single one of those components and essentially making a mockery of what you once dared to call love.
If you cheat, what you’ve really done is said, “I don’t love you. I never loved you. I never respected you. I never cared for you. All of this was a lie.”
And that’s fine. If you want to erase your past, admitting it was a lie — which is exactly what you do when you cheat — then that’s your prerogative. It makes you an assh*le, a no-good liar, a cheater and a thief, but you’re entitled to be the person you want to be.
Just don’t try to tell anyone that you love or ever loved your spouse if you cheat on them. You’re not only insulting your spouse and the history you had with them but you’re insulting yourself, too. And if you’re a cheater, there’s a huge part of you that thinks you’re right, so why would you want to insult yourself?