He’s not necessarily mean, but he just doesn’t want the same type of relationship that you do.
Often this problem stems from single women believing the can change a man’s desire for a relationship. That is pure fantasy. Once a man tells you he doesn’t want a relationship or, when he doesn’t make time to see you on real dates, the rest lands on your shoulders.
Yes, it’s up to YOU to maintain standards for the treatment that you want and deserve.
Establishing boundaries means that you know what you will and will not put up with to have a man in your life. And quality men who want a loving relationship will pursue you and do their best to win you over. They will happily spend time with you, treat you well and try to impress you.
If he doesn’t act this way from the start, or dating disintegrates into a virtual relationship — you need to cut him loose. Otherwise the chances are extremely high that you have some serious embarrassment headed your way.
Here are the seven telltale signs to watch for that let you know he’s not serious about you.
1. He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, but you date him anyway.
You go on a first date with a man who has many qualities you’re seeking. He tells you right away he doesn’t want a relationship and then engages you in interesting conversation. You like him and decide to see where things go. This is a big mistake.
When a man says he doesn’t want a relationship, you need to believe him and move on.
2. He flirts with you, but doesn’t ask you out.
This man — you know him from work, the gym or church — is such a flirt! He goes out of his way to turn your head. Funny thing is he never asks you out. He’s always happy to see you, but it doesn’t go any further and that’s your clue he’s not seriously interested.
Any man who wants to date you will ask you out. If he doesn’t, there’s something holding him back, so move on.
3. He says he’s never been in love.
This is a tough one. Some women are drawn to a man, who appears vulnerable and admits he’s never been in love, like a moth to a flame. He becomes your “love project” because you think he just hasn’t met the right woman yet (a.k.a. you!).
Thoughts like these will leave you feeling foolish when he breaks it off. If he hasn’t been in love and he’s over 40, he doesn’t want to be in love. Don’t’ fall for this — please walk away.
4. He texts, but doesn’t have time to see you.
So many men love texting. But any man who texts you “Good morning Beautiful” but doesn’t have time to see you is probably texting several other women the same message. Imagine the ego boost of texting with a bunch of single gals.
Don’t waste your time no matter how much fun texting him is or how “into you” he seems. If he was serious, he’d spend time with you in person.
5. He’s newly divorced, isn’t ready for anything serious, but wants to “see where things go.”
This is a tricky red flag because he tells you right off he doesn’t want anything serious. Yet, he dangles the possibility of a relationship based on how things go.
In your mind you know things could will go great because you’re a great catch. So, you decide to take the chance. Big mistake!
When a man tells you he isn’t serious, he means it. Finish your glass of wine and say goodbye.
6. He brings “take out” to your place, but you never go out.
Your date suggests takeout and watching a movie at your place (The old “Netflix and chill” routine). Sounds cozy right? But this is the man code for “booty call.” He comes over to your place, but he never takes you out on a proper dinner date.
Why? Chances are he can’t risk being seen in public with another woman because he’s in a relationship or married. Avoid dates at home until you’ve had several dates in public to see how serious a man is about pursuing you.
7. You always set up dates because he doesn’t.
When you call and ask him to do something, he agrees to meet you. But he never initiates anything.
Is he lazy? Maybe, but the more likely motivation (or lack of it) is that he’s just passing time with you. He has fun and you’re willing to do all the work, so why not spend time with you until he meets a woman he likes more.
Don’t be a place holder if you don’t want to feel foolish. If he doesn’t ask you out, regardless of the reason, drop him fast.
Once you spot any of these seven red flags, commit to walk away and find a better prospect.
I understand that walking away is not easy. Some men seem too cute, charming, or fun to reject them and resist their advances. But, don’t waste time with men who make a fool of you. If you have any inkling or suspicion, move on because there are plenty of good men out there for you to date.