Here’s a list of 10 universal good-guy qualities that can help get you started.
1. He’s kind to everyone.
Not just you on your best day but you on your worst. Same goes for the waiter who brought the wrong appetizer, his coworkers, his family (and yours), and pretty much everyone. Someone who is genuinely kind spreads kindness wherever he goes.
2. He’s genuinely happy.
A happy person is not only a healthy person but also someone who is optimistic and fulfilled. Who wouldn’t love a life with someone like that?
3. He loves you.
Yeah, I know, duh. But I mean the real you. Not just the way you look or the things you do for him or the fact that you are conveniently 4 inches shorter, also love staying in on Friday nights, and get along with his family.
He must love the unique things about you, like how you’re always 30 minutes late to everything, how you put exactly three lemons in all your drinks, the long-winded way you tell a story, or how you always need the toilet paper roll so that the top flap faces down.
4. He takes care of you
5. He makes you smile.
When you’re with him, and when you think about him.
6. You can be yourself around him.
No matter how much you might be into someone, it’s never going to be real until you can let down your guard around him.
7. He’s the only one you fantasize about.
8. He spends like you.
A guy who’s on board to make your fantasy tour-de-France vacation a reality? Fantastic. A guy who then complains about every dollar you want to spend on said trip? No bien.
If springing for the good rosé and staying in a schmance hotel is your idea of fun, you need a guy that gets it. Money is the root of a lot of relationship issues, so being on the same page about spending is crucial.
9. He doesn’t put up with your crap.
Whether it’s yelling instead of talking, being passive-aggressive when you’re upset, or some sort of family/work issue you’re taking out on him. He knows your patterns and not only talks to you about them kindly but offers support when and where you need it.
Someone who can see you to your very core, accepts your flaws, and only wants to help you be a better person? That’s love.
10. He puts you first.
When it comes down to it, you are the No. 1 most important person in his life, and there are no questions about that.
If his friends want to do a guy’s weekend in Vegas, he says no because he’s got a good thing going with you, doesn’t want to get into trouble, and knows it will mean missing that concert you really want to go to. And if his mom hates the wallpaper you chose for your first apartment together, you’ll never find out, because he tells her if you’re happy, he’s happy, and that’s the end of it.
This article was originally published at Glamour.