Every partner you seem to attract is an emotional robot, or unavailable to meet your relationship needs. Feeling confused about why you keep finding partners who are your opposite? There are usually a few reasons why this becomes a pattern for people.
1. You Haven’t Healed From A Past Hurt
If you’ve suffered a heartbreaking loss, you may be loath to risk 100 percent of yourself again. By chasing someone who won’t fully commit, you can ‘. house’—dressing up, flirting, and sharing secrets. And, you can also avoid the risk that is inherent real love and intimacy.
2. You Like Your Life The Way It Is, And Don’t Really Want A Full-On Relationship
Many people rebel against the ‘traditional’ path of marriage and children. They may have a hard time admitting that they want a life that runs counter to socialized norms. So, instead they pick a partner who will never threaten their freedom and independence. They believe they want to settle down and get married. But, after deep analysis, they become fully aware of who they are.
3. You Are Replaying Childhood Trauma
Many children suffer from heartbreaking neglect. Their moms and/or dads may have been emotionally unavailable. Children internalize the neglect, believing that they deserved the bad treatment. Becoming conscious of how childhood affects your psychology requires introspection and hard work. You may grieve for the childhood you never experienced. The good news, however, is that once you recognize your patterns, you can take a strong stance to undo them. Soon, your real life can begin.