Odds are you’ve experienced your share of bedroom blunders, and for those of you shaking your head right now, stop lying.
Fact is, whether you fancy yourself a sexpert, or just want to take a stroll down the often hilarious “can’t believe I did that” lane, everyone can benefit from our 10 things to never (ever!) do during s*x list. We even surveyed some guys to weigh in on the biggest fornication fails. (Spoiler alert! Sometimes they actually want to hear what you have to say.)
So without further adieu, our top 10 hit list: read, enjoy and maybe even learn something!
I don’t care if this is the most moving s*x ever (also, it probably isn’t) — it isn’t okay to cry during s*x. You feel weird, he feels weird. And just, why? Don’t do it.
Case in point: “Once my girlfriend started crying during s*x, and I was so thrown I just kept going, which ultimately made me feel … kinda wrong.”
2. Talk about babies (even if you’re trying to make one)
Saying “we’d make the cutest babies” or “I could totally have kids with you” during s*x is a huge don’t. This actually happened to a girlfriend of mine (notice, I said girlfriend — the dude actually said the latter!) and she was so freaked out by it, she lost her “girl boner” and never called that guy again.
3. Peer pressure on the man-hood
This includes, but is not limited to, scratching, biting, or getting hostile with his man parts in any way.
“Aside from biting during a blow job, the worst, repeat WORST thing you can do to a guy is get emotional when things aren’t ‘working’ right away — as soon as things become too mental, it’s over.”
4. See you acting bored.
Not enjoying it? He can tell. Several guys said women who lack enthusiasm during s*x was a major turn off. One guy said it’s especially bad when she’s on top and clearly not having a good time.
5. Hearing you speak in a foreign language that you aren’t fluent in
“One girl thought it was sexy to speak Spanish to me in the bedroom … except, she didn’t know what she was saying and started making up words.”
6. See you becoming sleepy.
Talk about a buzz kill. Showing you’re sleepy shows him you’re not focused and uninterested — both of which can ruin the moment. One guy said there is nothing worse than seeing your partner yawn while getting it on.
7. Too much talking …
“Obviously dirty talk is okay, but when a girl just starts striking up random conversation in the middle of it … it’s a mood killer.”
Save the chatting for cuddle time.
8. … or too much silence
“Don’t ever be silent, because it’s incredibly unnerving … I was having s*x with this one girl, and she would be as silent as a tomb, but after every single lay, she would be like ‘wow that was amazing.’ And being insecure already, I was like ‘I need some reinforcement that I’m doing something right.’ Plus, it’s hot when a girl tells you what she likes.”
Translation: guys are like dogs, and need rewards for good behavior. It’s honestly for your own good.
9. Hear you refer to anything as “cute”
This is equally demeaning for both parties. Are you talking about his male parts, your lady parts? Your adorable little thrusts? Either way, it’s like baby talk in the sack … just, no.
10. Fake orgasms
You’re not doing anyone any favors by faking; in fact you’re only perpetuating this extremely accurate male mentality: “Well, no one ever fakes with me, so…” — said every guy, ever.
s*x is worth waiting for, abstain from pre-marital s*x.