I have been dating a Nigerian man for over a year. We have a long distance romance and we met last summer when I traveled there from Canada. He has consistently asked me for money for the year we have been dating.
When I came there I paid for absolutely everything. He has never bought me a single thing and I continue to support him including all the expenses for his study work permit to this country. He says he is coming in august but I am tired of sending money.
I truly love him and I know he loves me but I wonder how much of what he tells me is truthful.
Can you please give me some advice on this? He says he wants to marry me but I am a little confused as it has been a little one sided as far as how much I have supported him financially.
Wouldn’t you agree that he should buy me something given what I have done for him? He even convinced me when I was there to buy him an expensive camera which I did but still nothing in return not even a card in the mail or some small token of appreciation.
I feel a bit sad over all this.
Looking forward to your reply.
Have you made him know this? I think it is not enough to have expectations that are not communicated. Understandably, an ideal relationship is one which sees both partners seeking to please each other, make each other happy, sharing and giving as much as they take from the relationship – both tangible and intangible things.
That a partner is meant to share with you is something that does not need to be taught, but if your partner seems to have no clue, then you have to point it out to them how you want to be treated, how you’d love them to relate with you.
That said, from experience, doubts are usually not just doubts. And if you have a gut feeling, it is better to not ignore the feelings. If there is something off about that man as you say; if you are not too sure about trusting him and the things he tells you, then you should not wave off the feeling.
I think you should first cut down on the gifts and material things that go from you to him. But, also communicate with him about how the whole thing feels one-sided and how you would appreciate some reciprocity and balance in the relationship.
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