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Overrated! The 9 WORST Things About S*x On The Beach

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These will freak you out.

Prepare yourselves, kids. I’m about to take all the fun and romanticism out of beach s*x. But I only do it because I care. There are things you need to know before you take the plunge into naughtiness on the beach. But if you read this article and still want to go for this kind of public s*x, rock on. You’re braver than I.

> are the absolute worst things about having public s*x on the beach. Because beach s*x is nothing like the movies.

1. You get sand in every nook and cranny.

It’s not supportive, it gets everywhere, it scrapes. All in all, just not fun.

2. You need to watch out for little critters.

From jellyfish that can sting you to tiny microbes that can get into delicate areas, there are many things to avoid when having public s*x on the beach.

3. The salt water messes with your skin.

It dries out the skin on the rest of your body, so imagine what it will do to the sensitive skin of your private parts. Plus, it will remove your natural lubrication. No one wants that.

4. You need to wait until it’s dark.

Unless you’re one of those couples who enjoys getting caught, this is an act best reserved for nighttime. You know, when it’s way easier to step on broken glass and those sharp little seashells.

5. The water can cause trouble with condoms.

If you’re looking to get knocked up, go for it. If, however, you’d like to have safe s*x, avoid water. That sucker can slip right off. (Side note: especially avoid pool s*x if you want to use a condom. The chemicals in pools and hot tubs can deteriorate the condom. Not. Fun.)

6. You’re more susceptible to infections.

There are things in the water (germs, microbes, the list goes on) and garbage on the beach. Just too many ways to get sick.

7. You run the risk of getting arrested.

As with any public s*x act, there’s always the chance that a cop could wander . (or someone could see you and call the police) and the next thing you know, you’re doing the walk of shame through a police station.

8. Your positions are limited.

This is neither the time nor place to try something new or fancy from the Kama Sutra. You are on a mission >. Plus, there’s nothing to hold on to should the situation call for it.

9. You’re on the clock.

You don’t have all the time in the world to have public s*x on the beach. There is a finite amount of time between the tide coming in, people walking . (yes, even at night), and a fiddler crab clawing you on the tush. And in that small window of time, do you think you’ll be able to rock each other’s worlds? Not as successfully as you would if you weren’t covered in sand and fearing getting caught (unless that’s your deal, in which case, no judgment).

.: Yourtango

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