“Why did my husband fall in love with another woman?” It can haunt your every thought, but isn’t simply answered. Despite commitment and communication in a marriage, infidelity can still occur. Asking yourself “What went wrong” or “What did I do wrong” are painful questions, but they can help get you to the answer you are looking for. The saying goes that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. While that’s not entirely true, it does truthfully state that men and women are different…very different. Of course, this isn’t a secret; but the problem is that we rarely realize men and women are so different. When things might be going well for you, things might not be for your husband. Here are some reasons why he might choose to be unfaithful.
He is looking for a friend
Men hope to find a woman who is emotionally intimate; a woman who listens, who understands, a woman who is not afraid to talk about anything. That woman does not react impulsively, she understands without judging and doesn’t reply with “I told you.” While this type of woman can exist in his wife, not having this level of understanding may provoke a man to find someone who can fulfill another aspect of his relationship.
Women adore playing
Men might be looking for someone who is not afraid to be carefree and spontaneous. Marriage brings responsibility, no matter how good the marriage is. Men who feel tied down by commitment will seek a woman that likes to run from responsibility, someone who is a little childish and will indulge his habits of playing ball or video games. If this playfulness and fun attitude isn’t present in marriage, it could explain why he left.
He wants an independent woman
It seems silly, but husbands often seek a woman who is independent. Though they’ve made a commitment in marriage, it’s not really what they want. They are looking for a woman who doesn’t really revolve around them or your family. It’s a bit paradoxical because that’s who you were before you got married. In essence, this type of man is chasing something he can’t ever have.
He wants a happy woman
Men want to make women happy. If it seems like happiness is a hopeless situation in his own marriage, he might see to make another woman happy outside of his marriage. Though you both have been happy together in the past, your relationship isn’t where he’d like it to be right now. He’s seeking to make someone else happy because he doesn’t think he can do the same for you.
He is looking for something you don’t have
Recently, a friend told me: “I love feminine women.” It’s a selfish choice to think that your wife — the woman you are committed to — isn’t “what I want,” but it happens. It’s a shallow reason to cheat on your wife, but some men rationalize that they want to be with someone younger or with someone that is different from you.
He hates tears
My personal conclusion is that some men cheat on their wives because they hate feeling guilty or responsible for our pain and suffering. It seems easier to choose to do something so wrong, so they no longer are responsible for making things all better again. It’s a selfish way out of a situation, but it does give an escape: an escape that usually results in divorce.
These reasons are hard to read, but they could give a glimpse into why this happened. Learn the ways you and your husband are different. Talk about things in depth; don’t ignore hurt feelings, complaints, or praise. Remember, it’s the lasting behaviors that create understanding and love…things that will hopefully prevent infidelity from every happening in your marriage.
This is an adaptation and translation of the original article “Por qué un esposo se enamora de otra mujer? Cuida que no te pase a ti”.