The friends with benefit relationship is one that is often met with caution and even fear. While some people are comfortable with the idea, others believe it isn’t even possible to maintain such relationships. If you find yourself trapped somewhere between the friend-zone and being a couple, here are some rules to follow.
1. No cuddling after sex
Cuddling has been scientifically proven to induce the hormone oxytocin. This hormone is also known as the ‘love’ hormone or the ‘bonding’ hormone. It is also secreted by pregnant women to facilitate bonding with the unborn baby. If you do not plan to invest feelings in a relationship, DO NOT cuddle.
2. No extended texting
The human mind is a very complex entity because it is prone to imagination. The more we communicate with people, the more likely we are to assume things that might not necessarily be the case. For example, we might assume someone likes us more than they do because they will stay up at night and chat to us.
READ: 5 times it’s perfectly okay to say ‘No’
3. No interrogatory questions
Where have you been? Who were you with? You know these questions. In a friends with benefits situation both parties need to stay in their lane and respect each other’s privacy and right to be with other people. It is after all the difference between friends with benefits and a dating relationship.
4. Limited physical contact
This is similar to the limiting of texting, but it has to do with physical contact. When we are in people’s company excessively, it is easy to develop emotional attachment and even dependency. This emotional responsibility being the reason we choose to be friends with benefit in the first place ultimately leads to problems when it creeps up.
5. No snooping around (especially online)
No no no, worst thing you can ever do is develop paranoia over someone you aren’t even dating. It is bad enough when in a relationship, but at least you have some right to be paranoid, at least to a degree. Respect for the other person’s privacy is paramount. Looking at who they are liking or commenting on online is a recipe for disaster.