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You might not know it yet, but the moment you begin approaching a woman, you’re seducing her. Seduction doesn’t just happen in the bedroom, it happens continuously anytime you’re around her.

She is constantly picking up on messages, both verbal and non-verbal. You’re sending them literally through your words and body language, and subliminally, by how your conversation makes her feel.

This is called verbal foreplay: the art of lubricating her mind in a way that evokes s*xual desire. And >’s a road map for talking your way right to her heart.

1. Be confident and self-assured
Theory: If you’re slouching, not looking her in the eye, and your voice is quivering, she is going to know you’re nervous and she is going to be turned off. You have to be sure of yourself, at ease in your own skin, like walking up to a woman and starting a conversation with her is no big deal (which it shouldn’t be).

Practice: When you see a girl you want to talk to, establish eye contact and then immediately walk over and engage her. Even if she’s with a group, don’t wait until she’s off on her own because that moment might never arrive. Be confident, stand up straight, make eye contact and speak in a clear, strong tone.

2. Ask open-ended questions
Theory: So many guys get nervous and begin peppering the girl they’re speaking to with compliments and drudgy questions, which spikes the logical side of her brain; she quickly loses interest and counts down the seconds until you leave her alone. Instead, ask questions that excite her and bring her back to past places of pleasure. You don’t even have to ask anything s*xual at all. Questions that simply appeal to her emotions and stimulate her imagination will make her excited to engage with you.

Practice: If you ask her, “So what do you do for a living” you’re going to hit a roadblock right away. Why? Because it’s a very logical question that will spike a very standard response—she’s at a party to have fun, not talk about her job. But go with something like, “So tell me about the last awesome vacation you         went on,” she is going to re-visit the memories of that past vacation in her mind. The images emotions she felt at that moment are going to be positive and invigorating.

3. Tell a story
Theory: Every guy has things he wishes he could tell a girl about himself immediately—that he’s really successful and has a high-paying job, the car he drives, the college he graduated from, or the fact that he’s traveled to every continent. While some guys will fire off their “highlight reel” right out of the gate, a quality guy knows how to subtly portray who he is without throwing it in her face. To wit: telling a story that demonstrates your value and places you in a position that actively portrays you as the bolded version of yourself. The way you tell it is also key. Relate the details like you’re confessing your wildest s*xual fantasy. Change the inflection in your voice to captivate her and draw her in. Step into her when you whisper something, or make eye contact at critical points, which can create a hyper-sensual feeling.

Practice: Say you just recently went travelling with a friend and took up swimming for the first time. You could use the your experience as an opportunity to tell a story from your trip. Draw her in by talking about the exact emotions you were feeling, the intensity and adrenaline that was streaming through your veins, and finally, that rush of euphoria when you got to the deepest part of the pool. This is how you appeal to her emotions, create excitement and develop intimacy.

.: Made Man

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