New relationships are fun, exciting, and turn your tummy into those mushy, so-disgusting-kind-of-cute butterfly knots.
And for those entering new relationships, it can be easy to want to spend all of your time with this new person who’s giving you a major glow.
But before you start ditching your Sunday y. sessions with your girls to sweat with your new boo instead, consider this: You really should only be seeing someone you’re newly dating once a week.
“People often dive right into a relationship and begin to lose themselves early on,” says Jennifer Silvershein, LCSW, founder of Manhattan Wellness, a service that specialises in dating and relationship advice for millennial women.
You quickly start ditching plans you’d made for yourself and with others before you met this person in order to spend time with them. And when that happens, it’s likely you’ll fall into dicksand—the dreaded force that sucks you into becoming so preoccupied with the new person you’re dating, you ditch your friends and fam entirely.
Dicksand is as strong as it is sneaky. You get caught up in the rom-com energy of your own budding love story, and next thing you know, you’ve been sucked into relationship isolation, your friends have no idea where you are, and you have no action plan for how to get out of this phase.
Mikaila M., 24, only grasped how deeply she’d plunged when she decided to skip her friend’s birthday party to hang with a new match. She didn’t realize until later just how upset her friend really was.
That’s why, when you’re first integrating someone into your life, you want to keep your routine as normal as possible.
Otherwise, not only are you jeopardizing your existing relationships, you’re also not giving yourself the proper amount of time to manifest a relationship naturally. And a rush of lovey-dovey endorphins could be making you miss major red flags (read: it is a big deal that his ex-girlfriend still thinks they’re in a relationship).
The good news? Your new “one date a week” rule can totally prevent all these problems.
Take it from Michelle T., 24, who has vowed by this rule and is now in a two-year relationship. “I was caught in a cycle of losing my friends, family, and self whenever I entered a new relationship, so when I heard about this rule, I had to try it,” she says.
“It’s hard when you’re forcing yourself to not hang out with the only person you can focus on, but it’s helped me so much in thinking more clearly and picking up on things I didn’t like about them.”
Here are some of the other benefits
You can potentially avoid a painful heartbreak.
“If you’re able to keep the get-togethers to once a week, the intensity of something not working out will be lessened,” says Silvershein. Instead of moping about five dates you went on with this person last week, you’ll only be moping about one.
It could intensify the curiosity.
Not saying you have to . hard to get, but seeing each other once a week will leave your partner wanting more every time. You’ll have so much to talk about, so much to catch up on, the spark will be *lit* every time you see each other.
You won’t become a bad friend.
You won’t have to opt out of ‘Wine down Wednesdays’ with your coworkers, and you can still find time to hang with your new lover. It’s a win-win for all involved.
It will give you time to reflect.
It’s easy to get swept away by a moment that wasn’t actually all that romantic. By limiting yourself to once-a-week dates with potential bae, you have time to thoroughly reflect on the date and evaluate if those were actual sparks you felt.
So, with that said, when will you know you and your partner are ready to progress beyond once a week hangs?
“When you get more comfortable into a relationship or habits are beginning to form over time, that’s the natural progression,” says Silvershein. In other words, when you finally know that this is the one for you and it’s not affecting you or your other relationships, you’re in the clear.
The above-all lesson: The new person in your life should be a part of your life, not your entire one.
Relationship Traps That Happy Couples Avoid At All Costs
Building a strong and lasting relationship is not always easy. There will be ups and downs but couples who avoid these five relationship traps are more likely to last forever.
1. Killing the trust
There are many ways trust can be ruined in a relationship. This includes cheating, lying, a lack of transparency, etc. When you have trouble believing the words that come out of your partner’s mouth or if you don’t trust that he has your best interests at heart, then that relationship will suffer. The best solution is to avoid this trap altogether. Be open, loyal and faithful to your partner.
2. Letting anger overtake them
Sure, there will be fights but how you handle them matters. When you let anger overtake you and you say things that are cruel or build a wall between you and him, you’re killing the relationship. Channel your anger into solving the problem and try not to use it to hurt each other. Those words, even when spoken in anger, are never forgotten.
3. Avoiding the difficult conversations
One of the relationship traps most people fall into is an avoidance of talking about the tough stuff. Your problems don’t go away if you ignore them. Be brave and have the hard conversations. You will be better for it.
4. Hitting below the belt
No matter how upset you are, one of the biggest relationship traps to avoid is to attack below the belt. Being vicious with your words/actions or threatening to leave abandon your partner isn’t the way to get what you want. Keep the fight fair.
5. Letting the emotional distance grow
When you’ve been together for a while, you may notice there are times when you don’t really feel a strong emotional attachment to your partner. This comes and goes. The key is to not let the emotional detachment phase last too long or the other person will feel unloved or rejected. When you notice this distance, then it may be time to go on a special date, take a trip or do something special to rekindle the love.
For more tips, here are the top mistakes women make in relationships.
How have you been able to deal with argument and disagreement in your relationship? Please share your tips in the ..
Health Benefits Of African Bush Mango Seed (Ogbono) You Should Know
African Bush Mango Seed popularly known as Ogbono has its botanical name as Irvingia gabonensis and is also called wild African mango or bush mango. The Igbo people of Nigeria call it Ogbono and Yoruba people call it Apon.
Ogbono which is called “Apon” by the Yoruba people of Nigeria is indigenous to the humid forest zone from the northern part of Angola, including Congo, DR Congo, Nigeria, Côte d’Ivoire and south-western Uganda but is planted in parts of southern Cameroon, Ghana, Togo and Benin.
The tree which is present in the tropical wet and dry climate zone grows naturally in canopied jungle, gallery forests and semi-deciduous forests and produces edible mango-like fruits, and are especially valued for their fat and protein-rich nuts.
The fruits can be eaten fresh, processed into jelly, jam, juice and sometimes even wine. The pulp has also been used to prepare black dye for cloth coloration. Compared to the seed, the fruit is only a tiny resource.
Also See: 10 Nigerian Foods You Must Eat Before You Die (Part I)
The seed, which is the Ogbono nut can also be eaten raw or roasted but they are mostly pounded into butter or a chocolate-like block. Ogbono seeds can be pressed to produce an edible oil or margarine which is used for cooking.
The oil can also be processed further into soap, cosmetics or pharmaceuticals. The pressed cake can be used as cattle feed or grounded/crushed and used as thickening and flavouring agent in soups and stews.
In Nigeria, the seed is popular for making soup. Ogbono soup also known as Draw soup because of its slippery nature helps the lumps of solid food slide down the throat to the stomach.
While some people like their Ogbono soup plain, with no added vegetables, others prefer it with some vegetable in it. A third group love their Ogbono soup with Okra, while some people would add Egusi to it.
Several research and studies have shown that ogbono Seed or kernels contains about 18 amino acids and that it is a good . of nutrients, vitamins and minerals such as calcium, magnesium, potassium, sodium, phosphorus and iron.
Further research revealed that the fibre content of the seed improves bowel function and aids detoxification pathways.
The Research also showed that the seeds have beneficial effects on diabetes and obesity as well as in lowering cholesterol, and increasing antioxidant and gastrointestinal activity.
According to the research, consuming ogbono would help with the following:
Aids Weight Loss:
Ogbono aids weight loss by increasing the levels of leptin in the body, a hormone that reduces appetite and by inhibiting an enzyme called glycerol3phosphate dehydrogenase, which reduces the amount of blood sugar converted to fat.
Reduces Cholesterol Level:
Due to its contents, ogbono is not only good for weight loss, it may also serve as a great food to help control diabetes and ward off high cholesterol and the development of atherosclerosis.
Helps In Body Building:
Ogbono seed is also rich in protein which is good for body building. As earlier mentioned, the seed contains vitamins and minerals which are good for the body. It contains thiamine, riboflavin and niacin. The approximate fatty acid composition is myristic acid 33-70 per cent, laureic acid 20-59 per cent, oleic acid 1-11 per cent, palmitic acid 2 per cent and stearic acid 1 per cent. The contained amino acids are reasonably balanced for human nutrition. Since lysine, tryptophan, valine, threonine, isoleucine and phenylalanine have high concentrations in the seed, first limiting amino acids are methionine and cysteine.
So when next you are eating your Ogbono soup, just know you are eating yourself into good health. And for those who don’t eat ogbono, well, you are missing out…
Also See: 10 Amazing Health Bene桴摤ts Of Eating Groundnuts
Make-up brand Maybelline New YorK LAUNCHES in Ghana
Events by ENews Gh | on April 21, 2015 | 0 comments | in Fashion | Like it Maybelline New York, the world’s number one makeup brand will officially launch in Ghana at Coco Lounge, and a superstar team of leading makeup artists dubbed the Maybelline Board of Influencers, will lead the launch, using their […]
. Make-up brand Maybelline New YorK LAUNCHES in Ghana . Ghana Ladies.
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