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What to do when it’s difficult to let go of a toxic boyfriend

Dear Bukky.

I am in a relationship where I think my partner is no longer interested in me.

He gives excuses for little things. He is always disappointing me and our dates and then he is always missing my calls and most times not returning them. He gives me lame excuses for these things.

We talked about it but I am not seeing changes. I love him and I am finding it hard to just let go. Please what should i do?


Dear reader,

My advice to you is to face your fear. That possibility of living or being without him which you are finding hard to come to terms with, that is exactly what you will have to do.

You need to look at the pattern and realise that it does not bode well for you or for your mental well being. It does not even look good for your peace of mind. This is a man who does all the exact opposites of things that are needed to make you happy; does not care about how you feel, refuses to change even though you have communicate your needs, worries and concerns to him. He does not even spend time with you and his excuses never cut it when he pulls these stunts on you!

Dear reader, the signs are enough for you to know that this is not the right man for you. There is only so much that can be said. You cannot forever subject yourself to a relationship of unhappiness and regular complaints. How much youth do you have that you should spend so much of it in unhappiness?

I understand your reluctance and fear and worry that you can’t do without him but you can and you will be surprised at how easy it will be after a while.

Now I want you to make up your mind and breakup with him when you are mentally ready for it. I suggest soon. Cut him off on all media and concentrate on yourself and things that make you happy and fulfilled.

It’ll be only a matter of time before you forget about him totally. Wishing you all the best.


Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues? Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail containing your question and location to [email protected], and I’ll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let’s talk about it? A problem shared is a problem half-solved!

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